Really appreciate it if someone is willing to take a look. These should be fairly short. Thanks in advance!
1.) What in particular about Yale has influenced your decision to apply? (100 words)
Many Yale alumni have proudly boasted about just how inclusive and welcoming the Yale community is. From the tours led by professors around the facilities to the efficient responsiveness to emails and questions, Yale has demonstrated that its faculty genuinely care about the undergraduate students - a quality that is difficult to find in many universities. Along with the novel residential systems, these traits invoke an image of great communal care, support and collaborative discourse that would make for an ideal community. (82 words)
Please respond in 250 characters (roughly 40 words) or fewer to each of the questions below:
2a.) What excites you intellectually, really?Finding answers to questions that I think about. What happens when I burn potassium nitrate and-?... Ahh, I see. And now a full matchbox..? Fascinating. While satisfying my curiosity, I can almost feel my brain expand as I fill it with more knowledge. (250 characters)
2b.) Think about a disappointment you have experienced. What was your response?I was disappointed as a child to realize that I was flat footed. Stomping behind everyone else, I was easily outrun. So I altered my footsteps, experimenting with different methods to step down and push off. I am now the fastest person in my class. (248 characters)
2c.) Suite-style living - four to six students sharing a set of rooms - may be an integral part of your Yale College experience. What would you contribute to the dynamic of your suite?Humor. Randomness. Friendly banters. Jokes. Debate. Housekeeping (OCD). Music. Singing. Bad singing. Dramatic recreations of movie scenes. Sharing. Food. Multilingual confusion. Study sessions for tomorrows exam.
Oh, and also long lasting friendship. (250 characters)
2d.) What do you wish you were better at being or doing?I wish I was better at cleaning out my room. As a very sentimental person, I refused e to throw away any of my hundreds of possessions. From my childhood favorite book to my stamp collection, I kept anything with the slightest significance to me. (246 characters)
1)Just wondering, is there a particular reason why you keep mentioning alumni? Are the alumni the ones responsible for prompting your decision to apply here, or is it the "communal care" and "responsiveness" ? Anywhoo,
"from being offered tours around the facilities by professors to receiving immediate responses to emails and questions, Yale alumni have reiterated many times that Yale is one of few universities"
--> 1) Change to something like "From the tours led by professors around the facilities to the efficient responsiveness to emails and questions, this university proves the Yale alumni' words..." ya know what I mean.
2)Love this response!
"Satisfying my curiosity makes me almost feel like my brain is expanding as I increase my knowledge."--> hmm, try something more descriptive... "By satisfying my curiosity, I can almost feel like my brain is expanding, as I simultaneously stuff more knowledge into it. It's absolutely thrilling." EDIT: Okay reading this over, the last part makes me kinda want to throw up in the mouth, so fyi, this was just a suggestion description lol.
2b) For this type of prompt, Think about a disappointment you have experienced. What was your response?, you answered really well. You told us a problem, showed you were interested in solving it, and showed us how you solved it.
2c) This was pretty cute. But change
"International living experience." to ...I actually don't know what you're trying to say haha. But that phrase does seem awkward.
2d) Ahh, this prompt is tricky. Although it asks you to put down yourself, you never truly want to put down yourself. Yeah, I know. You want to present yourself in the best light possible.
"I wish I was more focused on my academics as a kid" bruhhh. You want the adcom to KNOW that you were the most dedicated student out there, who lived, breathed, and ate their studies.... even if it may not be the truth :)
It's funny, but I recommend that you try and find something else.
Thanks for your feedback!
I guess I do bring up alumni too much, I can cut down on it. It's that I contacted some alumni and they told me a bunch about how nice it is etc...
for 2), I wish I could go into more detail but 250 characters WITH SPACES is like... 25-30 words.
2d) is hard. I have no idea what to put there haha. I'll find something else then I guess.
THanks again!
