Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.
This essay remains a bit choppy; I'll probably fix it in the morning (and then do the What's important one...*sighhh*). In the meantime, what do you think? I'm just not confident how "intellectual" this topic is.
I couldn't get off the ground the first time I played Flight Simulator. The virtual cockpit's intricate CRT screens and switches had me hopelessly bamboozled. In desperation, I followed the old tenet, and pressed the big, red button, only to make the whole cockpit go kaput (that particular button was for power cutoff). Reading the game manual didn't help either. To my eleven-year-old mind, the manual was nothing more than ten cryptic pages full of odd words like "vefer" (VFR), "nedeb" (NDB), and "urs" (IRS).
Still, I wasn't about to surrender my fantasies of piloting airliners that quickly. Hoping the queer words from the manual would get me airborne, I decided to look them up. The afternoon started with a perusal of the Wikipedia article on IRS, or Inertial Reference Spheres, as I'd learn. Soon, I moved on to Gimbals, and from there, to Gyroscopes. Two hours later, I was halfway into an article on Braces. I'd unconsciously read across the Renaissance, and Ancient Rome, to get there. Realizing I'd spent the afternoon quenching a thirst for knowledge I'd never admitted before, I smiled self-consciously.
Since that day, Flight Simulator's given me plenty of opportunities to drift through such articles and expand my knowledge base. While preparing for flights, I came across Bernoulli's Principle, the aerofoil, and wingtip vortices--all intriguing topics with catchy diagrams to heighten my interest in Mechanical and Aerospace Engineering. But I also encountered the difference between Moroccan and Israeli couscous, and the name of the dragon on the Bhutanese flag. The quirky mélange of information made me feel truly unique.
I must really thank Flight Simulator for giving me a bolder intellectual philosophy. I no longer broaden my horizons; I fly straight at them--at a speed of 503 knots from 37,500 feet to be exact--and knock them outward, unafraid of what lies beyond the line where land and water meet air.
Hi! I think it's very nicely done.
I don't think it needs any changes. Perhaps, I would suggest you putting another personal experience (not too long, just a slight personal touch) about how you have maintained your passion for Mechanical and Aerospace Engineering even when you are older.
I like how you specifically mention some technical terms. I think just a slight personal touch would suffice =)
It's just my opinion, though.
I hope this helps!
Good luck!
and please take a look at my "giving back to your country essay"
thank you!
Very nice. is it a computer game or an actual simulator? just curious.
line where land and water meet air.
i think you were trying to avoid being cliche, but i personally thought, "You mean a horizon?" when i read this line
you could include an example of how the information you got from Flight simulator was useful in school or elsewhere to show how the stuff you learned contributed to your intellectual development
i like the woed kaput, but it doesnt fit in your essay :P
its a bit too wordy
don't capitalize gimbals, gyroscopes, and braces --theyre not proper nouns
help me with my vitality essay please
Hi Kingshuk. You've got a great shell for your essay, but lack smooth transitions. I've made some edits I hope will help:
Overall, very good! I found a couple of spots where you could scrub up your diction/phrasing. You also have a couple of possible typos. I would also recommend adding a final sentence to your closing paragraph because the closing sentence you currently have is too specific. I have, personally, always found it better to take one general sentence that could be applicable directly to your experience (in this case, Flight Simulator). Furthermore, you have one or two small words which are slightly confusing to someone who isn't interested or has not taken courses pertaining to engineering. And because you cannot guarantee that an engineer will be reading your essay (most likely not), you have to make sure that your jargon is understandable.
Good luck and have a happy new year! (Don't forget to hand your materials in on time)
