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Are you fluttering with expectancy of new life at Stanford? ; Future roommate


wind5 2 / 2  
Dec 31, 2012   #1
Prompt : Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better. (2000 characters)

Please check if there are some weird phrase and expression. Thank you

Hi, there. Are you fluttering with expectancy of new life at Stanford? These days, I cannot sleep because my heart is pounding with excitement to meet new friends at Stanford, including you. Even though, I thought I would be composed since this is my second time to live and share room with roommate, it cannot be helped to imagine my exciting future.

When I was attending in high school in Korea, I used to live in the dormitory. It was the place of serious studying and academic competition; however, I was the one making the atmosphere easier and heat it up. Everyone in the dorm did love me, calling me as official dorm sweetie. I am not trying to brag about myself, but it was true that my action, word, and events I planned for them did comfort them. I hope I can be a sweetie of our dorm again that can make your dorm life happier.

Just to let you know, I do many things to enjoy my life. I love to dance, even though I am not like a professional dancer. Whenever I hear some music, I begin to dance of any kinds. You may see me walk into the room by moonwalk and say hello. I will welcome you to join my dance anytime. Also I love to watch movies irrespective of genre. So if you have some movies you want to share or recommend, just bring them, and let's talk about the movies. Whenever you get depressed or bored, just talk to me. I have countless links and videos on my computer that will make you smile and laugh.

About the lifestyle, I am not really a perfectionist. I keep my room clean and neat at least I can live in and feel comfortable. There is no need to worry about the messy and smelly room. Sometimes I might act like a mother and wake you up early in the morning to make you prepare for the class. If you have any problem, just talk to me, and I will concern with you to settle it.

As I wrote this letter, the eager to meet you in the dorm grew more and more. I hope we can create a synergy effect as we live together and influence each other. Well then, see you at Stanford.
fasaran 5 / 30  
Dec 31, 2012   #2
Even though, I thought
^no comma

uh..sounds good. but in my opinion, it seems kindve..dull? make it unique :/ make the first sentence more catchy.
ReshmaA 3 / 14 1  
Dec 31, 2012   #3
Hi, there. Are you fluttering with expectancy of new life at Stanford? These days, I cannot sleep because my heart is pounding with excitement to meet new friends at Stanford, including you. Even though, I thought I would be composed since this is my second time to live and share room with roommate, it cannot be helped to imagine my exciting future.

When I was attending in high school in Korea, I used to live in thea dormitory. It was thea place of serious studying and academic competition; however, I was the one making the atmosphere easier and heating it up. Everyone in the dorm did loveloved me, calling me asan" official dorm sweetie." I am not trying to brag about myself, but it was true that my actions , words , and events I planned for them did comfort them. I hope I can, too,FF0000], too, be a sweetie of our dorm again that canand make your dorm life happier.

Just to let you know, I do many things to enjoy my life. (meh, awkward phrasing) I love to dance, even though I am not like a professional dancer. Whenever I hear some music, I begin to dance of any kinds . You may see me walk into the room by moonwalkIt's possible that I'll greet you by moonwalking into a room.and say hello. I will welcome you to join my dance anytime. (again, awkward) Also I love to watch movies irrespective of genre. So if you have some movies you want to share or recommend, just bring them, and let's talk about the movies. Whenever you get depressed or bored, just talk to me. I have countless links and videos on my computer that will make you smile and laugh.

About the lifestyle, I am not really a perfectionist. I keep my room clean and neat at least I can live in and feel comfortable, so there is no need to worry about thea messy and smelly room. Sometimes I mightmay act like a mother and wake you up early in the morning to make you prepare for the class. If you have any problem, just talk to me, and I will concern with you to settle it. <--- rephrase

As I wrote this letter, the eager to meet you in the dorm grew more and more. <----rephrase I hope we can create a synergy effect as we live together and influence each other. Well then, see you at Stanford.

Write about some things that are unique about you!! Right now, this letter can represent just about any other teenager. Good luck and I hope I helped! If anyone wants to proofread my essays, I would be so so so thankful!!


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