To Fly like a Bird, my accomplishments and about myself

I was born on the ground, but have always dreamt of flight. To fly like a bird would be the ultimate thrill. Soaring high in the sky, escaping from the Earth. If I could be reincarnated into anything it would be a bird. The way they serenely fly over head, with no worries or cares, makes me envy them greatly.

I would not be one of those annoying squawking seagulls, even though at times I can be extremely loud. Nor would I be a parrot, repeating everything someone else say. I am a leader not a follower. I have taken on many leadership roles. I have been captain of various sport teams, including flag football and softball teams. I have also taken on leadership roles within the high school band, being Librarian for two years and treasurer for one. I would most definitely not be a peacock. A peacock is nothing like me. Peacocks strut around like they own the world, like they are better than everyone else, always flashing their feathers. I am nothing like this. I am simple, not flashy.

I would be a quiet bird, just trying to reach new heights. A dove maybe, reserved, calm, at peace with the world. I would have the feeling of power over every other creature, being too high for any other to reach. Or maybe I would be a song bird, singing sweet songs of joy. Belting out cheerful music for all to hear. Having my voice echo through the trees filling the air with sweet wonderful music. Or maybe even a Cardinal loudly whistling out songs, from high up in the treetops.

Flying is the part I cherish the most. Flying on and on, over the vast world. Soaring over the rivers and mountains. I soar with grace throughout the sky. Above the sunny skies, through the cool air, I soar, seeing all the majestic sites. Hearing the oceans' waves gently crash down on the shore. I glide down slowly, skimming the water ever so smoothly. The crisp smell of the salt water surrounds me as it gently splashes up into my face.

This feeling, this feeling of not having any worries, this is my favorite part. Being able to escape from all the noise. The sounds of horns honking in mid-day traffic, the yelling and crying of young children, the chatter of teens, gone. It is all gone, I am now too high up to hear any of it. For the first time I feel true happiness. No cares, no worries, just the open sky ahead of me. The wind is slowly drifting through my feathers, cooling me down.

I am flying higher and higher, pushing myself to go further and further. Determined not to stop. I will succeed. There is no turning back now. That is the way it has always been. I have always been an extremely determined person, never willing to stop for anything. I have accomplished many things with my determination. One of the things I am most proud of accomplishing is winning regional's for my flag football team three years in a row, and winning a place at nationals in Florida. My determination is what sets me apart from all the rest, and what would make me the perfect bird flying high in the sky above all the rest.

you spend to long talking about your accomplishments and not enough on talking about yourself. I know that you do not want to come across as a braggart (it seems you dedicated the sentence about peacocks to that matter) but the fact that you see yourself as a dove is far to cliched and divine - the dove is a symbol of peace/innocence/God ect. I would use your love of flying to be a synonym for your yearn for sucess ad your ambitions in life...

This will capture the reader better if you say what kind.

I would most definitely not be a peacock.---Oh, alright, I guess it is cool that you made us wait and told us later. Well... do peacocks even fly?

I thought they just strutted.

Oh... you said you would NOT be a peacock. I misread it the first time, ha ha, alright, cool, because I was wondering why you wanted to be a stupid peacock.

Okay, I think you should cut that ending right out. This part is too cliche: I am flying higher and higher, pushing myself to go further and further. Determined not to stop . I will succeed. There is no turning back now. That is the way it has always been. I have always been an extremely determined person

And then randomly mentioning flag football at the end is not good either.

But I really like all the discussion of birds. I think you need to revise this to really include accomplishments and interests, and especially your intentions for the next few years. I hope you can revise the bird part so that it is like a metaphor about your career intentions or college intentions.