The topic is What influenced you to apply to George Washington University?
The focus and dedication of George Washington University to its undergraduate students influenced me to apply. I feel attending GW will open multiple opportunities of leadership, exploration, growth, and research in my field of study. Additionally, I believe college should not only be about furthering my academic interests but also be about expanding my understanding of the world and gaining perspective into other cultures. I believe GW University's numerous internship and study abroad programs will provide me with these chances to explore and learn beyond what I can experience in a classroom setting. Moreover, GW University's expert faculty members teaching in assorted settings from small classes and seminars to large lecture halls influenced me to apply to GW. I want to be a part of the varying learning environments and the opportunity to engage in research in my undergraduate years, both of which are unique to George Washington University.
Also, while talking with my college counselor, she mentioned the exceptional business program at George Washington University and suggested I look into it. Through my exploration of George Washington's school of business, I learned of its state of the art classrooms, the capital market trading room, and of the world renowned faculty dedicated to teaching not only the concepts and practices of business; but, also the understanding of the ethics surrounding business. As I discovered it was a top fifty business school and has a career center with the ability to place graduates into fortune 500 companies, I fell even more in love with GW. Not only does the school provide an excellent education to its undergraduate students, GW makes sure their students succeed after earning their degrees. The commitment of George Washington University demonstrates to its students is unparalleled and is a major factor in why I am applying to GW.
George Washington University is the perfect school in my opinion because it combines a rigorous academic environment with a diverse student body located in our nation's capital. Its compassionate faculty and staff and close student and alumni community is exactly the type of environment I want to be in for the next four years. I am applying to George Washington University because I know this university cares more than just providing an excellent undergraduate education to its students. It also aims at opening doors for their graduates in the real world and making sure their students are successful in achieving their goals.
Do you guys think this is too generic? is it interesting? anything i can improve?
That first sentence is a strong one! You should follow it with a sentence that gives an example of the way they help the grads. Do not suddenly start talking about those generalities in the second sentence. They do not mean anything. The fact that you noticed something about support for grads... that MEANS something!
Also, do not bother with student to faculty ratio or anything else that might be found on a brochure.
Do not state the obvious; of COURSE the faculty consists of "experts."
Spend this time showing them some specific things. I really think your celebration of their support for grads is key here.
The second para is good!
Use a comma for compound sentences:
George Washington University is the perfect school in my opinion, because it...
Do not speculate about them being compassionate! Instead, mention an example of something you observed or read about, or something someone told you, that made you believe the profs are compassionate. In writing, the expression is, "Show, don't tell."