Significant achievement, experience or risk, and how it affected you
This is the final version of my previously posted essay. Thanks for your reply to that EF_Kevin! Could you or another mod look over this ASAP? I will be applying within a week.
As I signed in at the media desk, my youth and inexperience stood out immediately from the crowd of veteran reporters. "Are you old enough to drive son?" the receptionist asked. "Yes," I replied. My thoughts returned to earth as I took my place among the gathered reporters. For months prior to the Doolittle Raiders' Reunion, I was pumped over the prospect of flying in a WWII bomber. Now that I was getting my first taste of a journalist's job, my mind turned from thrilling visions to the reality of my task.
As the culmination of a year of tireless photography training, I had taken my first official assignment from an aviation magazine. From the day I first closed a camera shutter, my goal was to gain some credibility as a photographer by getting photographs published thereby allowing me to take media flights at air shows. To give back to a host event at which I would fly, I decided I should return any favors with a feature length article. After I made a deal to deliver an article to a magazine, I was gambling my reputation, but the visions of flight played on in my head.
Back in an airplane hangar, at the National Museum of the U.S. Air Force, I am thinking that maybe I should be more careful about diving head first for a flight. Yes, I had made tentative arrangements to fly, but to train on the job at a major Air Force event? Now, I can see clearly what work my job entails, and I am beginning to feel intimidated. If I am to continue my journalism career, my objectives need to change. I've just left a media conference with the Secretary of the Air Force, and I am now scribbling notes at a banquet. I could possibly get a plane ride on Sunday, but what is the use if I fail to cover the event adequately? My thoughts settle down toward the latter part of the night, but I need some time at home to regroup.
My first night on the job is over, and I have just experienced the first part of a three act event. I'm working late into the night to document the day's activities only to rise before 5am to resume work. The opportunity for a ride passed by on the third day, and instead of flying, I covered a memorial ceremony which I saw was vital to my story. I was not really disappointed since the time spent on the ground allowed me to complete my job and write a successful article. After this first experience, I came to a crossroads. I could see that as a reporter, it wasn't so easy to just claim plane rides. I would stop writing if snagging easy rides was my motivation because it was unrealistic. The other path, which I chose, was to establish my place in the freelance writing business by regularly taking on assignments for publication. I realized that, though it seemed difficult at first, I did in fact like this reporting job even without frequent rides. In doing something I enjoy, I have gained the trust of an editor, and I am beginning to make connections in the local aviation community.
This essay is good great topic
If it fits i would include a part of the article maybe at the top kinda give them a little taste of it. It always works for me.
You turned the essay back on yourself and showed maturity and responsibility
But right now, I was, for the first time, facing the reality of my assignment- you do not have to have a comma since for is a preposition
edit my essay title:
Penn Supplement essay Which extracurricular or academicr paths do you want to pursue
Hello, I like your essay! Especially this theme about getting a ride on the bomber: amateur photographers who managed to snag airplane rides -- this is a funny detail.
I'll move a comma and add a dash:
It wasn't necessary to complete my story, and if I didn't concentrate on my work on the ground I wouldn't be much of a journalist -- just a scam artist.
...that first goal of flying to fly, but I didn't mind.
When I wrote the article, I wasn't just thinking of how it would help my career; in a small way, I was repaying the veterans with gratitude.
You did a great job!
