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"Following my dreams" - Stanford Supplemental #3: What matters to you and why?

Popcornasaur 2 / 5 3  
Sep 6, 2014   #1
Hi guys, please read over my supplemental essay and critique it!

What matters to you and why? - Following my dreams

When I was a small child, I used to look up at the starry night and tell my parents "One day I'll be up there... One day I'll be an astronaut". Years have passed since I first uttered those words but what they said to me afterwards has been ingrained in my mind ever since. They told me "Follow your dreams; you can achieve anything you want to if you truly want it." I may not have understood it back then, but it has become a guiding principle that I hold close to my heart.

I have not forgotten that promise. When I am tired beyond all belief, it's what gets me out of bed in the morning to face the world with renewed vigor. When I get a poor grade on a test, it's what drives me to study harder for the next one. It may not always be a smooth road, but every single pothole I hit makes me stronger when I come through. Along that path I will meet friends who share the same passion as I do, inspire others to follow their dreams, and make myself happy. That is what truly matters.

Dreams are intrinsic to the human spirit. We all dream, whether it's for world peace or a better job. What's important is what we do with that dream. Do we let it slip through our fingers, or grab on for dear life? I, for one, am holding on for dear life.

word count: 247


vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Sep 6, 2014   #2
While you presented a well worded essay, you did not totally answer the prompt. Why is it important that you follow your dreams? You said you dreamed of becoming an astronaut as a child. Does that still hold true now? Why do you dream of that? You explained a lot of reasons as to why you hold on to your dreams. But you never explained why it is important to you that you follow your dream. More importantly, have you done anything in your life that will help you to achieve this dream of becoming an astronaut? You can't just say it is important to follow your dreams without explaining why. Has your dream inspired you to do something special? If so, what? There are a lot of undeveloped avenues in this essay pertaining to the importance of following your dream that you can discuss. I suggest that you think deeper about the meaning of the prompt and respond on a deeper level. Right now, the answer you have given is shallow and frankly, without a shred if supporting sentiments coming from you. Think about the guide questions I provided and see if it can help you develop a deeper meaning in answer to the essay prompt :-)

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