I feel like this essay needs major rearranging, and I need to remove many irrelevant statements.My introduction also lacks something, I'm not sure what it is. I would be grateful for your help!
The prompt is 'What matters to you and why?'
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I enjoy savoring the taste of a freshly cooked meal. I love the taste, and inhaling the appetizing smell. But most importantly, I love food. Food is important to me in many unimaginable ways, a fact that seems trivial at first. But I believe food has a much more profound meaning in life. And that mattered most to me, although I did love devouring the finished products.
I remember those days when I had visited my family in the rural village of (x). I recall my whole family gathering together after noon prayer to sit on the floor around the heavy laden round pallet, all eagerly waiting our grandmother's cooking. We were too much to count, and as far as I can recall we could be at least twenty five members, perhaps even more. Despite the time spent apart from my family, all of us still sat to eat together; falling into chatter as if it weren't the first time we see each other in over a year. This is where food played its part in bringing us together, despite our cultural difference and variation in our dialect.
In many ways, food and I are similar to each other. Every plate has an origin, and tells a story of the culture it belongs to. This is why food matters to me because it symbolizes the person I am. Just like food, I also have a place of origin, somewhere I belong to, and a story to tell. (This part is very short and missing, I'm looking for ways to add to it)
Even when I had gone across the world for the conference in Boston, food was the common language spoken among us girls. Perhaps the most defining moment was when Vanessa, my American roommate, decided to invite me to her home to introduce to me her Jewish heritage, and rather than first taking me to visit a synagogue, she decided to introduce me to her heritage through food . And when I had tasted 'Matzah Balls' served in soup, I couldn't have ever imagined that Jewish food could be so appetizing. But what mattered most at that moment was what the bond Vanessa and I had formed symbolized. Tasting her food meant more than just enjoying it, rather it was a display of respect to what her culture represented. It was a nod of respect that could've been there between rivaling nations, and could possibly exist between Arabs and Jews. Perhaps all it takes is a taste of Matzah Balls, or a bite of Falafel for people to set aside their differences for a while. This is why food matters to me. It shows that different people can communicate with each other.
Through food, let us study the world's different cultures and set aside our conflicts and differences. The world could definitely do with a lot more understanding, and most certainly with a lot more food.
In your smaller paragraph, maybe you could talk about how different ingredients create a dish, like how different characteristics make up a person. Elaborate on your characteristics and relate them to food
- Since you already mention that food has a story to tell, you can include a transition sentence here that will bring the reader into your visit to Boston and the friendship you developed with Vanessa through food. By writing it in that manner, the short paragraph will not be noticed anymore. It will be transition paragraph instead and thus not need further development.
I believe that you can and should develop the story of the friendships that you made through food because it shows the actual importance of food to you on an international and personal level. The story about your family gathered around the food, that is so commonplace already that it adds nothing of value to your essay. The story with Vanessa however, if properly developed, can be the solid foundation and hook that your essay needs to become a successful piece of written work.
