At Fordham, we expect students to care for and engage with their communities.

At Fordham, we expect students to care for and engage with their communities.

Please share a specific instance in which you challenged yourself or stepped out of your comfort zone in order to be an advocate for your community (for example, your family, friend group, high school, or town). Please provide an example that illustrates a facet of yourself that we would not find anywhere else in your application

I used to be a cynical girl. I used to believe everybody was bad and unbelievable. I used to be careless and care only for myself.

Then, my mom was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. My family was drowning in depression. I was shocked and had multiple fears. That was the first time I actually feared a thing. My mom would die if I did not do anything to boost her mood. I started to find ways to improve the situation.

I chose to transfer positive energy since a cancer patient's mental health is very important to cure cancer. I said loving words, took her to her favorite showcases, and asked my brother to study seriously. All I wanted was to make her feel comfortable and happy.

Since then, radiating positive energy has been my signature, as my way to keep my mom alive and find a new normal life.

The topic chosen for the discussion was promising but the writing approach Missed out on the potential to greatly inform the reviewer. It is too short and impersonal to accurately show how the applicant actually advocated for her mother.

In this case, the backstory of the writer in terms of the relationship with the mother should have been narrated. Why was there a decline in the mental health of the mother? What community groups did the writer contact to learn from? How was the interaction with the group? How was the writer helped and vice versa?

There is further room for Improvement in the presentation. The above guide questions can help with that expansion.