It's a bit longer than required, so I really want to know where to cut and where to improve!Any comment helps! Thanx, guys!
As I finished the last derivative question of a weekly math test, my "boss" shouted "TIME UP!" and coerced us to submit our pieces. Then I walked to the front of the classroom, filed all students' answer sheets, sent them to teacher office and went home. That's a quintessential day in my senior year life, also in every other Chinese student's. Boring? Yeah, but that's merely ostensible.
When heard that there would be a sea of monotonous tests in our formidable last year at high school, dread and pressure occupied my mind just like everybody had. I experienced the first examination shortly after I began my final year, when I was a bit morose but didn't endeavor too hard with my preparation. However, things just went by contrary. Never had I expected that I would did such a nice work that I got the highest mark in my class and ranked 28th in the whole grade, for I didn't even strive whereas others spared no effort. Was it haphazard or owing to my potentials? My ludicrous confidence began to expand and I blindly supposed that I could get a content mark without much effort. Predictably, this wrong suggestion evaporated instantaneously. In my second monthly exam, my rank declined to 55th and my math was in a completely mess. I became strained and took several academic measures promptly. Picking up all the flaws I had in the past two tests, I put them altogether in a notebook for reference to shun similar mistakes. Extra time was spent every night on doing math exercises and reviewing all the errors which I had made before. Discussion with my teachers would last for hours just to figure out why a step in my solution of a Cartesian geometry question was inaccurate. My spirit of assiduous and initiative helped me free from the irritation of the tedious exams. I even longed for the next exam, in which I could find where my drawbacks were. I did pay off and reaped huge fruits not simply in study but in psychology. In the ensuing exams, I was invariably the peak in class and top 10 in grade, which made me assigned as the representative in class to share my special experience as well as the strategic learning methods with others. "Score doesn't matter anymore when I've took enough exams", I told them, "What seems to be the question is that how much I've learned from my lapses."
Holding that thought in mind, I walked in the classroom for the very last time also for the final "final test", college entrance exam, a test which could somehow determine one's whole life. I didn't freak out as I would as usual, but sat peacefully in the chair for 9 hours without any impurity in my brain and answered the perplexing but familiar questions. I believed it was countless exams that favored me and eliminated my distracting thoughts. Though not astonishingly high, the result was within my expectation. I felt satisfactory.
Find flaws, keep a peaceful mind and improve.
No wonder why the foreigners love to remark on Chinese education system, the so-called exam-oriented system or "cramming", and disdain it, for the quantity of exams is undoubtedly marvelous. Nevertheless, retrospecting the past "hell year", I clearly know that I didn't have phobophobia of test nor become an exam machine. I must say the senior year experience is my golden days, a time for me to evolve from a naive and depressed teenager to a thoughtful yet passionate youth, a time when my thought matured both academically and philosophically.
I read your all essay.Wonderful grammar by a Chinese!!
USMAN GUJJAR
Hahahah, Chinese is good at grammar actually!
When heard that there would be a sea of monotonous tests in our formidable last year at high school, dread and pressure occupied my mind just like everybody had.
When I heard that there would be a sea of monotonous tests in our (dont need formidable) last year (at high school), dread and pressure occupied my mind just like everybody had (illogical comparison here).
lots of grammar mistakes actually, you might want to have it checked
:) Thanx, it's just a draft but I don't know if it can reflect myself deeply.
Hi dude, you are applying for undergraduate Admission of American colleges and preparing for 'Gaokao' simultaneously and you had already finished that? That's incredible! I checked your QQ number, are you really from Ningbo? Maybe I'm also a Chinese student, your essay is pretty familiar to me.
我去，我是长沙的，QQ376587594
Any more feedback?!Deadline is coming. :$
You relied on the thesaurus wayyyy too much; it makes your essay awkward. I used blue to mark all the words that you should replace with simpler ones.
I used green to mark other awkward, grammatically incorrect phrases.
As I finished the last derivative question of a weekly math test, my "boss" shouted "TIME UP!" and coerced us to submit our pieces. Then I walked to the front of the classroom, filed all students' answer sheets, sent them to my teacher's office and went home. That's a quintessential day of my life as a senior, also in every other Chinese student's .
Boring? Yeah, but that's merely ostensible .
When heard that there would be a sea of monotonous tests in our formidable last year at high school, dread and pressure occupied my mind just like everybody had. I experienced the first examination shortly after I began my final year, when I was a bit morose but didn't endeavor too hard with my preparation. However, things just went by contrary . Never had I expected that I would do such good work that I got the highest mark in my class and ranked 28th in the whole grade, for I didn't even strive whereas others spared no effort. Was it haphazard or owing to my potentials? My ludicrous confidence began to expand and I blindly supposed that I could get a content mark without much effort. Predictably, this wrong assumptionevaporated instantaneously . In my second monthly exam, my rank declined to 55th and my math was a complete mess. I became strained and took several academic measures promptly. I collected all my mistakes in a notebook for reference to shun similar mistakes. I spent extra time every night on doing math exercises and reviewing all the errors that I made before.
...sorry I give up. You should have a native speaker look this over. On a side note, this essay is boring. Is getting your grades up senior year the most exciting thing you did in life? Probably not.
Thanx for ur advice, but I really don't have much time.Now I'm confused and don't know what to do ;(
