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'Do not forget your origin when you succeed' - Michigan Supplement 2012-2013


timobxsci 4 / 11  
Oct 19, 2012   #1
Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. (Approximately 250 words)

She worked constantly until she had children. He still works every day of the year, including the holidays. Yet, they barely make enough to care for me and my sister. My parents came here three decades ago and they're still asking themselves, "this is the American Dream?" They are the lower class and as a result, I am born into it.

Unlike my parents, I love the lower class and I can tell you why. Call me the underdog, the wild card, or nickname me "Stryver" from A Tale of Two Cities because it's all true. The lower class fellows are the ones that have to try harder, have to become better, have to achieve and maintain their new status; we see the most promises and opportunities lying ahead.

And I like that. I love that. Over the years, we've seen kids get iPads for Christmas. We've seen kids eating McDonald's for lunch while we ate school lunch. We've seen kids seemingly get a new pair of shoes every week! What does the lower class have to say to that? Well, other than the fact that we've become more mature, more patient, more versatile, and stronger people, there's also that small bit of green envy.

And that envy invigorates us...bubbling and boiling beneath our skin. But we maintain our cool, and we work hard and make our relatives proud. Because that's all the lower class has--Mom and Dad hoping their children have easier lives. We work our way up the ladder. Sometimes, one of us hits gold; others are content with just silver or bronze. When we succeed, we don't forget our origins. The lower class isn't something you forget. It's a lifestyle and as horrible as that sounds, the lessons learned are invaluable. And the rewards are unforgettable.
NikhillRao 1 / 3  
Oct 20, 2012   #2
Strong and creative, sounds a little bit like class warfare though. You sound fairly negative to upper classes, whether you mean to or not.
Doom 13 / 37 2  
Oct 22, 2012   #3
There is a danger in doing this. Personally i liked your essay, but at times you really went into the whole "class warfare" as someone above me commented. considering just how divisive that issue is now, i would recommend you tone it down.

The heart of this essay should be how being in the lower class has invigorated you to succeed regardless of the obvious obstacles. So perhaps just remove the whole lower class vs upper class thing in your third paragraph.

Over the years, we've seen kids get iPads for Christmas. We've seen kids eating McDonald's for lunch while we ate school lunch. We've seen kids seemingly get a new pair of shoes every week! What does the lower class have to say to that? Well, other than the fact that we've become more mature, more patient, more versatile, and stronger people, there's also that small bit of green envy.

Remove this and focus more your second paragraph. Make it more personal. you say the "lower class fellows are the ones who have to try harder". how have you excelled? how are you pushing boundaries?
ashleymanoff 2 / 2  
Oct 22, 2012   #4
I think this is really good! I agree with what he said above, be a little bit more clear.
edenh18 1 / 8  
Oct 27, 2012   #5
I agree with all the previous comments, & I also think you should include an example of how exactly your place in the lower class has invigorated you, without seeming bitter towards the upper class


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