'Forget the presence and look at the future' - another FSU admissions essay

I am in the middle of applying to FSU and this is my first draft of the essay. Any help will be great!!

Florida State University's motto is Vires, Artes, Mores or strength, skill, and character. When I first read this motto I was confused. I wasn't sure how these concepts could be embodied in my life. But I then thought about my passion, music. I have studied, lived and been immersed with music since I can remember. When I thought about my passion for music and the FSU motto, I found an immediate bound. My life is completely lived by the philosophy of Vires, Artes, Mores.

Strength is usually seen as being a man with huge biceps but is also found in morals. When I think of strength I think about being able to stand for what I want against those who disagree. Musical theater has become my passion and has been my guideline in school which is why I want to study it in college. Because this is my passion, I have become so strong due to the very little support out there. I have heard the word "No" enough to crush someone's dreams but not mine. Instead I have become strong enough to use "no" as a way to get closer to "yes".

I have kept my attitude positive. I have learned to look into the future rather than the present and think of the reward. My mind has been set on music and no one can keep me away. Never before had I ever thought to myself that I could fail because I simply know that what ever I want is obtainable. I have already accomplished goals in my life that have changed me and am ready to achieve the harder ones that are to come, first being college.

Good job. Your essay is very confident and spirited. You explain clearly why this motto applies to you and your life, and I like your comparisons. Your conclusion is very optimistic; your whole essay seems to be looking over the horizon rather than at your feet. Nice work.