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"all forms of expression and art" personal statement for the University of Wisconsin


xmysenax 1 / -  
Jan 19, 2011   #1
I've never written one of these, and I welcome *any and all* criticism. Grammar, content, etc. :D

The University of Wisconsin values an educational environment that provides all members of the campus community with opportunities to grow and develop intellectually, personally, culturally and socially. In order to give us a more complete picture of you as an individual, please tell us about the particular life experiences, perspectives, talents, commitments and/or interests you will bring to our campus. In other words, how will your presence enrich our community?

I will never take my community for granted. During my adolescence, I led quite a sheltered life in a quiet house, shy and timid in school. I was raised an only child, primarily by my father, who never remarried. In his eyes, what was best for me was a move away from public schooling upon entering junior high, and into a much smaller, private school system. For high school, I attended an even smaller home schooling academy. I enjoyed it, as I made wonderful friends and appreciated the close knit, smaller classes, but it wasn't enough to achieve the importance of socializing myself.

After high school, however, I attended Rock Valley Community College, and although not as large as a university's campus, it was definitely quite an intimidating leap from a five student class-sized education. Over time, as I grew more familiar with the campus, I began to break out of my shell, researching and joining a few clubs and taking some non-traditional courses. I gained such a strong desire for meeting new people, expanding my knowledge, and enlightening my mind. By attending numerous events and activities that shared with us the diversity of others, I learned that an entire community can only develop as far as each member.

I am truly inspired by any and all forms of expression and art among various cultures and society on a personal level. My parents are both artistically talented, so I dabble in drawing and painting, digital and pastel. I also love to read and write, poetry especially, to which I attend readings of in my area often. One of my favorite pastimes, however, is acting in humorous entertainment skits for a friend's online video series, which has flourished my involvement with the community and introduces me to many new and interesting people. I hope to contribute to similar projects in a new community, and to take advantage of new opportunities, which I know from multiple visits that Madison would be perfect for as it is a very creative and artistic city.

For me, observing both ends of the social spectrum has taught me to never view a community as merely a cluster of the population living amongst one another. It is a collective of its members' experiences, attitudes, and engagement with each other. While attending the University of Wisconsin, I will not only contribute to my campus clubs, activities, and organizations, but I commit to furthering the knowledge, involvement, development, and connection to everyone around me, the individual members who shape and create my community, to the best of my ability.
lksidestep 1 / 3  
Jan 20, 2011   #2
The sudden change in your essay is a bit misleading. You went from describing the difficulties of moving from a small setting to one that is much bigger to talking about how much you're inspired by art. It might've been more effective to mention that your parents were artistic and that you were inspired by them, principally. It would tie the essay together, more effectively. Hope that helps out! And please check out my essay! (:


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