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'Fred Ellis: a simple name and a simple man' - Influential Person


katebrown 4 / 10  
Oct 19, 2011   #1
This is a very rough draft. Please help! Tear apart my grammar, prose, sentence structure, and flow. ANYTHING will help turn this rough draft into a college worthy essay!!

Fred Ellis is a simple name for a simple man. If Fred were to take the ACT, he would struggle to get more than a ten, his IQ is around seventy-five, and even though his chronological age is fifty-four, his mental capacity is that of a twelve year old. Yet Fred has been my teacher. I might not address him at Mr. Ellis and he has never given me a test or quiz, but Fred has taught me more important things than the quadratic equation or the difference between an adverb and adjective. As I grow and discover who I am, I realize Fred's affect on my life.

Fred could be bitter and angry, he has every right to be. When Fred was three years old he became part of the foster care system. His mother gave him up after he began having seizures. Fred never stayed in one house for long. He was placed in multiple abusive houses until he finally aged out of the system at the age of eighteen. Many years later Fred started attending sporting events at South Christian High School, the same school where my dad was the principal. My dad noticed that no matter what the sport, Fred was there. One day my dad introduced himself and from that one hello, Fred became part of our family. We celebrate Christmas, birthdays, and I can always count on Fred to be part of my cheering section at my softball games. We take care of each other like every other family.

Fred will often tell me, "If it wasn't for my childhood I wouldn't be here. I didn't like it but I'm glad it brought me to you people." Those plain words show me that it isn't the experiences in life that shape who one becomes, it's how one reacts to those experiences. I feel shallow and petty when I respond poorly to a test grade or when the ACT score I wanted wasn't the score I received. These things seem trivial when compared to what Fred has overcome. I am confident that when I face real hardships and trails I will be able to persevere, knowing those hardships might be leading me exactly where I need to be.

dianalpy 3 / 5  
Oct 19, 2011   #2
a twelve year old. a twelve-year-old
Yet, Fred has been my teacher. I might not address him atas Mr. Ellis and he has never given me a test or quiz, but Fred has taught me more important things than the quadratic equation or the difference between an adverb and an adjective. As I grow and discover who I am, I realize that Fred does affects on my life.

When Fred was three years old he became part of the foster care system. His mother gave him up after he began having seizures. Fred never stayed in one house for long. He was placed in multiple abusive houses until he finally aged out of the system at the age of eighteen. Many years later Fred started attending sporting events at South Christian High School, the same school where my dad was the principal. My dad noticed that no matter what kinds of sports it was, Fred was there.

These things seem trivial when compared to what Fred has overcome.gone through.
Matiullah 2 / 7  
Oct 20, 2011   #3
If Fred werewas to take the ACT, he would struggle to get more than a ten, his IQ is around seventy-five, and even though his chronological age is fifty-four, his mental capacity is that of a twelve year old.
ljxlrdjxdr 2 / 7  
Oct 20, 2011   #4
Interesting person to write about!
But I guess you need to focus more on the way Fred has changed you, rather than the details of Fred's life.:)


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