hi everyone , I just wanted to point out that English is my second language and I'm also not very good at writing essays even in spanish which is my first language , so please help me making sure it all makes sense first before giving me ideas on what to add or what to take out , I'd also like to know if I made good use of commas or if I used to many of them, thank you in advance for your help
When I came to the US at the age of 15 years old, I thought learning the language and adapting to the new environment was something I was never going to have an issue with until I started high school , in high school everybody seemed to know each other, and there I was as a freshman with a broken English which made feel like I wasn't going to fit in with the rest of the students , as the months went by I started to feel lonely and since I couldn't speak too much English I was unable to make friends , some classes that required a certain level of understanding of English like science and history became really hard for me and I started to get bad grades , at home I wasn't the same I would always feel overwhelmed with homework since it was twice as hard for me to do because of the language barriers ,as a teenager I wanted to be able to interact with other people my age , go out with friends like any other teenager would do but all this wasn't possible without knowing how to speak English which at that point of my life was something I was struggling with , one day I gave up and I told my mom I couldn't handle high school anymore and that also I couldn't stay in the US living a life where I wasn't happy so she sent me back to Ecuador , when I was in Ecuador I felt that I failed myself and my family for not finishing high school and staying in the US , this affected me in a way that gave me a low self-esteem, it took away confidence in myself and made me feel like a looser in life until one day my grandparents talked to me and convinced me to go back to the US , they said to me that in Ecuador I wasn't going to have the same opportunities that the US could offer me , so I came back to the US determined to learn the language and to be successful in life , I signed up for an adult learning center and started studying for the GED exam, after a few months of preparing myself for the exam ,I took the test and passed it on my first try , having earned my GED made me regain confidence on myself and without noticing it I was also getting better and better at English , months after that I met my girlfriend with whom later I had a beautiful son with, ever since we got together I practiced my English a lot with her and I learned a lot to the point of having enough English skills to take the US citizenship test which I did and passed it with a perfect score and became a US citizen , it's been almost 6 years since I came to this country and now that I'm 20 years old sometimes when I look back at my life I remember that at some point I thought I was never going to be able to learn English and that makes me realize that I've learned a really important lesson and that is that anyone can achieve their goals in life with dedication , hard work and patience and to never give up
Until I started high school, in high school, everybody seemed to know each other. and there I was as a freshman with a broken English ,which made feel like I wasn't going to fit in with the rest of the students
I'm not sure if you're trying to be clever by showing them the broken up English or its genuinely bad grammar.
Great story, you can even exaggerate the feelings of failure you felt.
Hi mike0108!
I agree with Dumi. It's pretty tiring reading your essay. Use period (.) instead of comma. They're totally different. Furthermore, comma is not used to end a sentence. But I can see that you can be good in writing an essay using the second language. Just always apply the important considerations with regard to grammar and organization of ideas :)
