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"Freshman year at high school" - Common application essay


musashqa 1 / 1  
Dec 24, 2009   #1
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

Freshman year at high school was cruising by. I was enjoying the atmosphere as well as the company of new friends that I had made. My grades were perfect and I was playing sports. It was an ideal first year. The smooth sailing came to halt when I realized how exhausted I was...all the time.

It was near the beginning of the fourth quarter when I began to feel dizzy, my weight dropped rapidly, and I was in a constant state of breathlessness. This inhibited my ability to play sports, because I could only run for about twenty seconds at a time without feeling dizzy and breathless. Added to that, I had a chronic stomach pain, which seemed to be getting worse each day.

I was getting tense, but I still persevered through my schoolwork. Then one week, the symptoms got terrible, so I went to my doctor. The doctor conducted some tests and finally diagnosed me with colitis, inflammation of the intestine. He told me that colitis is something that will linger with me for the rest of my life, but it could be kept under control.

I was utterly shocked, especially because this was a life long illness. I was sure that I would not be able to play contact sports anymore, and that I could not take much stress, both of which would aggravate the symptoms. I had to get used to this new lifestyle. Over the summer, I started taking prescribed medications that relieved the symptoms, while iron supplements helped me climb out of anemia. Taking medicine became a hectic duty because I had to take the pills three times a day. The initial side effects were horrible and depressing, but in order to make my life normal, I knew I had to stick with the recovery plan.

"That which can not kill me, will only make me stronger" is a very truthful saying. The doctor had not said that my illness was fatal. The only positive way I could use my health problem was to make me stronger. I decided that I would not let colitis hinder my daily routine. Therefore, I began playing basketball and lifting weights again. When school resumed sophomore year, so did my strong work ethic. By junior year, I was doing something I would have never thought of after I was diagnosed, playing varsity football.

If the symptoms reoccur in the future, I know exactly how to deal with them. In fact, I am quite sure that the symptoms will show up again since the colitis is a chronic illness. I do not think about it much, because I know that I can achieve all my goals even with a disease. Colitis is not invincible. A determined mind, however, is. John F. Kennedy was one of the most popular presidents in the history of the United States, and David Garrard is one of the best quarterbacks to have played for the Jacksonville Jaguars. What is one thing that they have in common? They both fought through colitis to achieve their goals. That is what I intend to do no matter what life throws at me.

shinhwab 3 / 8  
Dec 24, 2009   #2
wow this is really the best essay I've read today.
Although there are more telling than showing, I was able to tell that you overcame your illness and did not give up.
:) goood luck!!!!!!!!!!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 27, 2009   #3
My grades were perfect, I was playing sports, and the experience seemed like an ideal first year. ----> just an idea...

The smooth sailing came to halt when I realized how exhausted I was...all the time.
It was n Near the beginning of the fourth quarter, I began to feel dizzy; my weight dropped rapidly, and I was in a constant state of breathlessness.

life-long has a hyphen.

"That which can not kill me, will only make me stronger" is a very truthful saying.

This turns the essay into a big cliche, I think. Instead of simply focusing on perseverance and making the best of the situation, give a real glimpse into the revelation you had that made you choose in favor of working through it. Try to make this essay's theme more defined by giving some details about your unique way of powering through adversity.

:-)


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