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'Friends come and go; but family..' - UC Prompt #2 Family


Phanee 1 / -  
Nov 3, 2011   #1
Im really stressing over this, i dont know if this cuts it as a prompt or should I just change my topic to something else. Tell me the truth, what do you think? Any suggestions?

What is family? The dictionary definition states that a family is composed of a group of children and parents living together in a household, but a family is more than this simplistic definition. For me a family is like a marriage, we are stuck together in the good and bad, in riches and in poverty, in sickness and in health until death do us part. A family is a bond that should not be broken. Even though you do not choose your family or your parents, they create the environment where you grow, where you learn how to trust, share, love, care for others and yourself. To most family is a top priority. So why is it then that we neglect, mistreat and even treat strangers better than our own blood? I always knew this was the case but never really paid much attention to this phenomenon.

One day during the summer of 2011, a couple of friends, my brother and sister and I gathered together to have some lunch after an event at church. We were chatting, and gossiping, things that normal young people do. My brother was being boisterous and embarrassing, I found myself getting red faced and extremely annoyed at every miniscule thing he did. I responded with the rolling of the eyes and talking back, I felt I was totally in the right for reacting this way. My friend on the other hand was behaving the same exact way, but my response was the polar opposite to that of my brother's behavior. I was not rolling my eyes or acting annoyed, I was laughing along and amused at his behavior.

I did not notice what I had done until later, when my brother was talking to my mother in a disrespectful manner but talked to everyone else calmly and politely. When I saw this I was infuriated and upset that my brother would be more respectful to complete strangers than his own mother. "Why? Why does he act this way?" I asked myself. I was judging him for his wrong doings, not realizing that I had behaved the same exact way as he did. I have always had a very awkward and strained relationship with my brother which may account for my attitude towards him, but it does not excuse my hypocritical behavior. I noticed that I had treated my friend more courteously than my own brother. Maybe back in that restaurant someone else might have been looking at me and asking themselves, "Why? Why does she act that way?" which caused me to feel ashamed and disappointed at myself.

It was an epiphany; a sudden realization that our families won't be here forever, no matter what sort of differences or conflicts we may have with them, family is family. Friends come and go, but family cannot be changed. Through this experience I have come to appreciate my family more than ever. I have tried to be nicer to my brother and sister, and treat my parents with love. I demonstrate this by doing favors for them and communicating more, listening to their problems, encouraging them and most importantly respecting them.
Ellis - / 10  
Nov 3, 2011   #2
Do not use this as a Personal Statement.

You spent most of the time complaining about your brothers actions and did not answer the prompt on how this experience has shaped your dreams and aspirations. You merely stated how you changed your attitude towards your family.

UC Prompt #2
"Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations."
wyby45 3 / 8  
Nov 4, 2011   #3
This is actually Prompt #1, theres too much emphasis on your life and not enough about how your family shaped you
Ellis - / 10  
Nov 4, 2011   #4
No, it is not.

Prompt #1:
Goals (Short/Long term)

Use this to brainstorm for your prompts:

eaop.uci.edu/PDF/handouts/Personal%20Statement%20WS%2009.pdf


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