Hi guys, could you give it a look? Im having trouble with fluidity and its a bit too long. Any help or opinions are appreciated!! Thanks in advance!
APPLICANTS TO THE Georgetown MCDONOUGH SCHOOL OF BUSINESS: Briefly describe the factors that have influenced your interest in studying business. (approximately one page)
Sweetgreen: Frozen Yogurt with an organic twist. It's another Wednesday, and the yellow sweetflowmobile arrives on my campus yet again, attracting sleep deprived students who need their "all-natural, farm-fresh" sugar-fix. Classmates who are willing to cut a good twenty minutes from their lunchtime hurry to join the mile long line. As I watch the raw scene of indulgent teen consumerism in disbelief, I question myself: How does this business thrive? Is it because of exploiting teens like me? My mind lingers on...
How does it sell for five dollars? Back in the slums of the Philippines, this product will never sell. It is too expensive for the common person. Fifty cents is about how much they would spend for a meal. Also, they have more popular choices there. I can still picture that building-sized leg of chicken adobo plastered on a Max's Restaurant billboard.
How did it become so popular then? I have not seen one Sweetgreen advertisement. I guess food does not need advertisement. Food itself attracts all. Providing food was my strategy for swaying more students to join my Asian Cultural club. Since then it has been growing, just like Sweetgreen's consumers. If the first taste makes an impression, it should be passed around by word of mouth.
But then why are we so in love with organic products? "Better for the Environment! Better for People!"Yes, it is a trend right now. Being preservative-free, sustainable, and containing less calories make it have a high utility. That is how my Haruma Kenyan service club raised over 1,000 dollars this year. Our decision to invest on an expensive natural product to sell was a good risk.
Where did they buy that yellow truck? It runs without a generator, making it consistent with its philosophy of "a better world." It is important to be consistent. I remember the irony when I visited the Philippines. There were rows of dilapidated houses outside the district of tall rich corporation buildings. I was distraught by the polar differences between neighbors. These huge money-burning conglomerates that advertise themselves to be humanitarian have done little to help. I believe that it is the business' responsibility to accept moral leadership since they influence the society more than any other public institution.
Frozen yogurt has been used several times, can I think of something better? Something that can top their eco-friendly cutlery and healthy yogurt and salads. Something that takes all of their ideals and raises it to a whole new level. A product that would be global and world friendly. A product that could help me find a solution for a better Philippines, a land so distant yet I love so much. Probably not right now. All I know is that it is my ultimate goal in my life to-
I am interrupted. My friends who have just received their yogurt sit down to join me. Their fatigued faces vanish as they eat away their toppings. They have become much jollier and carefree since the past 20 minutes. I see them laughing at little things. Their smiles are contagious; I start to grin. How did frozen yogurt make me so happy?
I ask myself again, how do businesses really thrive? By not being all about money and instead, committing to the community. Business is not just about spreadsheets and stock quotes. It involves real people. A business has the potential to change the lives of many. This is why I want to take business.
Just like the McDonough School of Business `07 graduates who founded Sweetgreen, with the tools and guidance Georgetown will provide me, I will one day start a pioneering business with a solid goal in mind: to make a difference. One that will promote public good, help those who are out of the spotlight, and change the lives of many; but perhaps without the yogurt.
Let's use a word other than cut in that first paragraph, because "cut" might be wrongly associated with cutting class in the minds of some slow-thinking readers. :-)
How does it sell for five dollars? Back in the slums of the Philippines, this product will would never sell.
I ask myself again, how do businesses really thrive? When I got to this part, I stood up and shook my computer's hand for displaying such excellent writing on the screen. You combined business with your experience of shared happiness and appreciation... and you even included mention of culture in the Philippines. I can say with confidence that this is better than anything I could ever write -- very powerful writing here... :-)
This is why I want to take business.---Right here, in the same amount of space you use to write this, you could write something with twice as much meaning. Add an action verb other than take, for example, or be more specific about the topics that interest you in the field of business.
Oh... Sweetgreen was founded by grads? This essay is just about perfect, I think ;-)
