I've been working for hours on this essay as well as many other. Any HONEST critique is appreciated. Whether my essay sucks or not, let me know. Lol. I'm open to any suggestions, revising etc. This is only 290 words. However, I still need a closing statement. So suggestions for that are also appreciated.
Prompt: In 500 words, tells us about what makes you, you. What are your strengths, weaknesses, and your motivation? What separates you from any other applicant? How do you think Howard University will increase your strengths and diminish your weaknesses?
For the last 17, almost 18 years, I've been trying to figure out exactly who I am and what makes me that person. I find out a little more about myself everyday. In my years of searching for who I am, I have found out that I have a lot of strengths as well as weaknesses. I would like to write an essay about how hard my life was. However, my life wasn't all that hard. I've had some really rough patches and some difficult obstacles to overcome. I believe that these rough patches and obstacles helped me figure out who I am. But this person who I've become, who I'm becoming, what makes her so special? What makes her stand out from the billions of other people in the world.
Within the last four years of my life, I've watched some of my closest friends with the greatest potential waste their lives away on drugs and alcohol. Fortunately, I have been blessed with a strong mind. I'm unlike the many weak minded individuals that gave into peer pressure. One of my greatest strengths is my independence and leadership. I have no problem with turning the other way and walking away from tempting situations. For this reason, a lot of my friendships have depreciated and lost value.
I may have a strong mind but I sometimes lose confidence in myself. I get discouraged very easily, especially when things don't go the way I expected them to. I'm very passionate about everything I do. If I miss a beat in my plans, I quickly second guess my judgement. Although I refuse to give up, i sometimes feel the need to reevaluate my plans and goals even if it's not necessary .
Hello,
I'm applying for the same thing! lol I love Howard University. Where did you find this prompt? Online on mine it said write 500 words "on a topic of your choice".
But here are my suggestions:
" I would like to write an essay about how hard my life was. " <--- I would change this to say: "I would have liked to write and essay about how hard my life was." I would do this because you wanted to, but actually didn't. I feel this is more grammatically correct. Also, especially since you follow with this: "However, my life wasn't all that hard." And maybe for this sentence you could tweak it to something like: "However, after reflection, I realized my life hasn't been as hard as I thought." or "However, I realized my life wasn't all that hard." I feel this would show more of how before this essay assignment you did in fact think your life was hard.
Also this: "What makes her stand out from the billions of other people in the world. " is a question, so it needs a question mark lol im sure it was just a typo.
I would also add more about how having independence and leadership is one of your strengths. Although I'm sure they would be thrilled to hear that you don't participate in using drugs or alcohol, I think you need more evidence (especially since you have enough characters left in order to do so).
Also, in the last paragraph I would add thoughts about Howard University. I would do this because if not whoever is reading your essay might think Howard is one of those plans and goals that you might reevaluate. I'm not saying they will, but when reviewing your essay, you should read it as though you are one of the admissions people deciding whether or not to admit you.
Sorry, I hope this wasn't harsh lol. I just love this school and I want everyone who really wants to be there to have the best possible chance. I will probably upload my FTIC Howard Essay on here too, so if you could advise mine to that would be great. I'm finishing it right now lol. Who knows, maybe I'll see you there. Good luck!
