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(Future Farmer of America / Military training) - Transfer


applenjuice 2 / 3  
Jan 5, 2012   #1
Please help me with gramma and sentenses. And do you think it's good enough for a international transfer student? How do you feel when you reading it?

Thank you for your time!!

Essay:Please provide a statement addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve, and attach it to you application before submission.250 words minimum

I have been an exchange student during high school for a year in Henryetta, Oklahoma, where I experienced a completely different life. I fed goats, watched FFA(Future Farmer of America) competition of pigs and roosters, taught Chinese to people at the church. Upon my return from the US, I came to realize having an international background can be more competitive in the future. After studying two years in SWUFE, I can briefly tell how I will study through the next two years. Sometimes, Chinese education can be lack of creativity and real-life practice. I believe University of Delaware can compensate this weakness. University of Delaware has an ideal location on the east coast, close to big cities like NY and Washington DC. This will provide considerable opportunities. People say,"Accounting is a international language." As a accounting major student, I feel its necessary to be close to the central of economy world.

My reasons for transferring are not entirely to fulfill my academic needs. Exploring different cultures is something that I have always taken a keen interest in. Moreover, education should not be limited in the classroom. To study under foreign education system and live in a foreign country is is already an education, which I can never have by only continuing my college here in China.

People always dream of something different and better. Leaving home to another country means I have to say goodbye to family, friend and familiar environment. However, I'm now looking forward to pushing myself to experience places that aren't quite so familiar. The small town of Henryetta was one such environment, and the University of Delaware would be another. I won't regret it.

Short Answer:Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below or on an attached sheet(150 words or less)

Military training is probably the best way to shape a person's character and foster one's capability in a surprisingly short time.
We were forced to stand under the dazzling sunshine like an soldier for an hour and not allowed to move. We only took two showers in two weeks, sharing one shower head with other four girls. Orienteering was fun, but drained all our energy. Moreover, we cannot refuse but to use the worst maintained bathroomI'd ever seen. But sometimes it's not bad to be in harsh conditions, I witnessed the strong momentum of a unity. The relationship among our classmate was closer than ever before.

Military training is the growing catalyst of me. Two weeks, I experienced an incredible fatigue. I'm was being shaped into a stronger person without knowing. I've changed in so many ways after the two weeks. Now I have a better sense of discipline and hardly complain on anything because I have been through military training.
Jennyflower81 - / 690 96  
Jan 5, 2012   #2
Hi, I can try to help make your grammar sound better :)

I fed goats, watched FFA(Future Farmer of America) competition of pigs and roosters, and taught the Chinese language to people at the church.

Upon my return from the US, I came to realize having an international background can bemore competitivean advantage in the future.

After studying for two years in SWUFE, I can briefly tellexplain how I will study throughduring the next two years.

Sometimes, Chinese education can behas a lack of creativity and real-life practice.

I believe University of Delaware can compensate this weakness. Omit this sentence, say the same thing, but use different words.


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