My future still remains as foggy as it has been before - Common app

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Still foggy

I love math. One of my earliest memory is about me subtracting numbers. Math was interesting to me even as a kid. It all started when I was 8 years old. I must admit that I didn't fall in love with math immediately, instead, it was my yearning for praise for solving problems and the spotlight that drew me in. I would often ask my mother to make up some numbers so that I could add or subtract those numbers, and then I would shower in her and other family members' compliments.

As time passed I started to like doing math for its own sake. I gradually improved my math skills and came to a realization that math was the basis of every science. Of course, my knowledge of math was but a simple one. The moment I saw those numbers I multiplied or added them, but then any machine could do that. I may have been young, but I knew that I wanted to learn to how perform more than simple mathematic equations.

After searching for a while by myself I failed at finding a new opportunity to learn more. So I asked my parents for help. At first they cared little, but as I searched even more they understood my resolve to learn. When I was 13 my parents finally found a club that might've been what I was searching for. It was abacus. I've heard of abacus before but it was nothing more than basic common knowledge. As I researched what abacus was I found out that it was a little board with buttons to count numbers and do mathematic equations. It didn't impress me at first because I thought it was silly to count math on a board with buttons in this age of technology. Still, I decided to give it a try.

My first abacus lesson was a disaster. I couldn't even do simple math, it was like I was being taught an ancient language - this was a language I was determined to decipher. After a month at the club I could finally do simple math. I felt relieved but then a day after I had finished my first stage, I accidentally wandered into a room full of abacus experts. Mesmerized by the sound, the level of concentration, and the determination in their eyes I stood there frozen for a minute or two, the way their hands moved was just like an artist painting a beautiful scene. This sight fueled my passion even more, it was like oil to my flaming passion.

In 4 months I became one of those people I admired. Not the ones that are successful but the ones that were passionate about everything they did. At my graduation ceremony from the abacus institution my teacher told us: "Learning abacus won't make you a genius or a very smart, intelligent person. Instead it will make you a person who is ready to tackle on any problems at life, it will make you a person who has the patience to endure".

The addition of abacus was a great influence to my arsenal of knowledge. It has helped me so many times because I learned the perseverance that I had always needed to complete the jobs that I had started. Before abacus I was always lazy and never did the best I could. But with the patience gained from the abacus classes I am now a far superior student in all my classes than I used to be.

My future still remains as foggy as it has been before, clouded with misjudgment and uncertainty. Nevertheless I will walk forward and only forward to pursue my dreams and ambitions but now I have a light to guide me through or help me remember the virtue that I need to not fall down and falter. That light is the patience I learned from the abacus.

Buyanbat, the first question that occurred to me as I read this essay was, "I am not learning anything about you as a person in this essay". Aside from your ardent interest in math and your background in the subject, as a reviewer, I am not learning about your development as a person, your abilities as a student, or your interests in life beyond this subject. I have a sneaking suspicion that you are a math major right? That is why you opted to talk so extensively about the development of your love of Math in this essay? Sad to say, such a detailed discussion is better used in a personal statement and not a background, interest, identity, or talent prompt. The reviewer needs to get to know about you beyond your academic interest. What do you do for fun? Aside from Math, what other topics interest you? Why are you interested in it? I can't really figure out how Math is supposed to help me get to know your character traits as a person. The essay just doesn't develop your character traits very much in the essay. Personally, I would ask you to revise the essay to show more of your background in terms of character.

@Buyanbatbunga First of all, I think you should consider adding more flow or transition between your sentences.Second of all, don't start any sentence with but, For example: "Before abacus I was always lazy and never did the best I could. But with the patience gained from the abacus classes I am now a far superior student in all my classes than I used to be." more transition please, and add a comma after abacus.