Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation? (200-250 words)
The summer before my junior year, I knew that I needed to find a summer project. I wanted to focus on something completely new - something that would challenge me. So I decided to teach myself the game of golf. At the time, I realized that this would be a monumental challenge, but that, to me, was the appeal. What I didn't realize, however, was just how much of an impact this project would have on my life.
Maneuvering the little white ball from tee to green frustrated me, to say the least. The mental and physical exertion required of every round was astounding. Every swing, every motion, every breath required the utmost coordination and precision to accomplish the task at hand. Until I began to play, I never had an appreciation for the sheer difficulty of the game, and teaching myself was no small feat. There were days where I would go home swearing never to pick up a club again. But for some reason, I kept coming back for more.
The frustration, I discovered, was also the allure. From my exasperation arose a burning determination to conquer my newly acquired foe, fueling a thirst for knowledge and a pursuit of perfection. This ardent determination is what blossomed into my passion for golf, for the game can never truly be perfected. There is an infinite room for betterment, and thus it is an infinitely great challenge. This tenacious desire to improve is what drives my enduring zeal to play.
Specifically, do you think it adequately answers the question, do you think the intro is too long, and do you think the ending is sufficient to wrap things up?
(This is right at 250 words)
"So I decided to teach myself the golf. I realized that this would be a monumental challenge, but that was the appeal. What I didn't realize\ was just how much this project would change my life."
A couple of redundancy fixes, hopefully without changing meaning.
Good job describing how golf makes you feel, how it impacted you, rather than just describing the sport itself.
I think you can be a little looser with your introduction--Your second paragraph masters tone and language very well, but in the first paragraph it seems a little more rigid and not as unique. You want the first paragraph to hook the reader, even if it's only a 250-word answer.
I think your ending is fine as it is, but if you wanted to expand you could list more concrete examples of how you've pursued your interest in golf, like maybe entering a tournament or joining a club or playing with your friends everyday or something.
Overall, great job!
