I'm struggling to choose between two different situations I want to do.
The first one is about my garage and in this essay, I wanted to talk about how my work done in the garage created an environment in which i was most content in..
The second one is about my Boeing internship and how the progressive environment of the main lab we got to tour was the place i was content in.
Here are two excerpts (SUPER ROUGH, just the beginning of each)
Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?
As far as dusty storage rooms go, the garage was probably the dingiest of them all. With torn cardboard boxes stacked from the grimy floor to the web-covered ceiling, the garage was an immovable wall of memorabilia and furniture that our family had squeezed in during the move. Not at all the sort of place someone would expect creativity and intellectual growth to thrive. Yet, as I glanced over the mountain of belongings, the garage seemed to plead to its new owners to notice the potential that it had. I convinced my skeptical parents to leave half of the garage empty and went to work. After weeks of becoming frustrated over Ikea assembly instructions, I personalized the space by adding cabinets full of art supplies and camera equipment, easels with works in progress, and a sheer, gingham curtain where the garage opened. It wasn't the most luxurious and sophisticated workspace, but it had character; it had become an extension of who I was. Innumerable reminiscences of garage life over the years consisted of building water bottle rockets with my brother, watercolor painting the cityscapes of Amsterdam, pulling all nighters to finish AP assignments, teaching friends how to make a clay cake the size of a quarter, and filming countless video tutorials to post on Youtube.
But the legacy of the garage remains, and it is a revolutionary one, as well as a step in the maturing of my creative abilities.
Through the mirror, I couldn't help but laugh at myself. Equipped with laboratory safety glasses, gloves, airtight white coats, hairnets, and boots, I looked like I had frankensteined an outfit inspired by a cafeteria lady and a scuba diver. After chuckling awkwardly at eachothers appearances, the other interns and I were shuffled out to a hallway, where we scanned our Boeing badges, and into what they called Hi-Bay. The pristine clarity of the air inside was the first thing that hit me as I was breathlessly immersed in a
I really like the first one - I can feel that you have a very personal connection to that place, it sounds very genuine. Expanding more about WHY it makes you content and HOW is important, and the following paragraphs should focus more on that.
Are you applying for any other schools that require additional essays? Maybe you should keep one of those stories for another essay, they both sound very interesting, and it'd be a waste to throw away good ideas. That way you could prepare a more complete application, showing more sides of your personality and experiences.
Having read both essay excerpts, my opinion, is that you should also stick to the first essay more because it reveals the personal aspect of your personality that may not have a chance to be discussed in the common app essays. The second one, although it reveals your internship experience at Boeing, is sure to be discussed as a part of the other essay prompts provided and will be noticed by the admissions officer upon review of your submitted student documents.
The garage story is unique because you personalized the space to your needs and wants, thus ensuring that it will be a place that you will be perfectly content spending time in. Developing that aspect will reveal the kind of work attitude and personality that you have which will be of valuable consideration in your application process. Remember to thoroughly discuss how and why you feel content in the garage though. No need to be wordy, just state the facts.
I hope you can post the completed essay here soon so that we can help you polish the content and enhance certain parts to your benefit :-)
