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Gay Rights and Why I want to attend- Vesalius College


coeurreign 2 / 45  
Dec 1, 2010   #1
Write in your own words a one-page essay on an issue of local, national, international or personal interest that is important to you. (GAY RIGHTS IN HIGH SCHOOL)

THERE'S NOTHING GAY ABOUT INJUSTICE
While there are many issues that are important, there is one that stands above the rest: gay rights in high school. There have been a number of reports coming to the forefront of the nation of teens committing suicide. The one thing they all have in common? Every one of the suicides happens to gay teens who can't take any more bullying or discrimination at their school. In fact, an estimated 6 million gay people every year commit suicide and that's the number just in recent times. That number doesn't even include the many others that have faced the same discrimination in the past centuries. Some have called it the "silent holocaust" that means that in four years more people have been killed for gay rights than both the world wars combined. The issue of gay rights have been debated and argued about for years, most notably starting in the 1960's with the sexual liberation movement. To me, gay rights shouldn't be an issue at all. In a society where everyone has rights and freedoms, for people to be bullied for being who they are doesn't reflect the changes in our modern times.

Having an openly gay best friend has made this topic very personal. "That's so gay" or "faggot" are used in everyday conversations between teens, teens that don't have a problem with gay people. Yet, they continue to use this kind of language, more often as an insult. By using those terms in an insulting manner is comparing being gay as being bad or wrong. Now, most teens don't mean it that way however it still doesn't change the fact that they use it as an insult. No one would dare use the N-word or say "that's so black", so why should people be allowed to associate being gay as insulting? Most people against homosexuality say that it's not right, that it's not normal. What exactly is normal? Who says what's normal and what isn't? To me, being normal means being ordinary and what's more ordinary than loving someone for who they are.

There's also the time aged argument of religion vs. homosexuality. In most religions, homosexuality is looked as at a sin, most notably in the Christian faith where naysayers say that homosexuals will go to hell. The Bible says that a lot of things are wrong such as touching the skin of a dead pig (Lev. 11:7-8), eating shellfish (Lev. 11:10), wearing garments made out of two fabrics (Lev. 19:19), women wearing pants (Deuteronomy 22:5), etc. There are a lot of sins, but there is only one unforgivable sin and that's rejecting Jesus' salvation and the Holy Spirit. Therefore, a person can be homosexual, yet they can still go to heaven because the "sin" of homosexuality can be forgiven. Nothing in the Ten Commandments say anything about homosexuality and those are the worst sins. Therefore, religion cannot be used as an excuse to discriminate against homosexuality.

As most of us can remember, high school was hard enough to face even without being deemed 'abnormal". Although gay teens in modern times are more readily "coming out of the closet", so to speak, there are those who still have a hard time. Teens today have the advantage of most of the society accepting them for who they are, there are still those who continue to have problems with people being themselves. There's nothing wrong or immoral about homosexuality. The only thing wrong is how close minded some people are to those who deviate from the norm.

Using the space below, please tell us about your goals. Why do you want to attend Vesalius College? Where do you see yourself ten years from now?

Growing up, I knew what I wanted to be a journalist. Like most children, when time passed I realized that my first job choice, wasn't the best one. I kept hopping from one career to the next because it seemed that everyone wanted to know what I wanted to be when I grew up. That frustrated me as I felt like they wanted me to have my whole life planned out and at that age I was only interested in colouring and playing tag. It wasn't until I grew older, that I stumbled across a magazine that featured women at work. I read it, thinking it would be interesting. It didn't occur to me at the time that I would find my perfect job. The job included my goals of learning a new language, travelling to different countries, and helping various people. It seemed ridiculous that I would find a job that was so utterly perfect that if I was hired, my goals since childhood would be completed. That job is a Foreign Service Officer. I began searching for more information, all led to schools offering International Relations as a major. Like my dream job, I stumbled across Vesalius College quite randomly. I read about it on the website and began to grow excited about the prospect of attending. The small class sizes, the international student body, and the location are the reasons why I'm interested in Vesalius. Since Brussels is the heart of Europe and the epicentre for European politics, there isn't a better location for the school to be located. I would be able to speak with people who are involved in international issues and actually have a say. There are numerous internships available that would enable me to gain valuable real world experience. All my life I've lived in a bubble that has been filled with the same people since childhood. To study in a different country for my post-secondary education would break my bubble. It would introduce to a whole new world that I wouldn't be able to imagine. It would make me have to grow up and mature into the person I aspire to be. In ten years I would have my college degree in hand and be employed by the Canadian government as a Foreign Service Officer. I would be in location in a new country, discussing policy changes to social welfare issues and speaking with NGO's on ways to bring attention to their cause. I would be involved with many of the major decision making processes of the country and Canada. I would be strengthening ties between Canada and other countries. Most importantly, I would be making a difference.

Thank you for your help!
student123 4 / 13  
Dec 1, 2010   #2
While there are many issues that are important, there is one, in my eyes , that stands above the rest: gay rights in high school. - i agree this is an issue, but not everyone has the same views as we do.

That number doesn't even include the many others that have faced the same discrimination in the past centuries.

The issue of gay rights has been debated and argued about for years, most notably starting in the 1960's with the sexual liberation movement.

No one would dare use the N-word or say "that's so black", so why should people be allowed to associate being gay as insulting? - love this.

Who says what is normal and what isn't?
OP coeurreign 2 / 45  
Dec 1, 2010   #3
Thank you, student123.

The one thing I'm really unsure about in the first prompt is my religion argument. I don't know if I should take that out because religion is a touchy subject and I don't want to offend anyone. On the other hand, it is one of the biggest fueling points against gay rights.

The other thing I'm unsure about is my entire second answer. It seems a bit too pedestrian for me and not written on a collegiate level. Any thoughts?
angelusfanatic 3 / 14  
Dec 1, 2010   #4
I didn't read your 2nd essay, but your first one seems pretty good. It needs some grammatical work and a bit of re-wording, but you set up the essay very good and make some great points. As far as your religion argument goes I would change it up a bit to show that religion has no place in equality. Make it less about religion is wrong because... and more about religion doesn't matter in this case. I hope that makes sense, kind of like the women can't wear pants thing. Use that as an example in showing how religion doesn't have a place in equality because of freedom of religion and everyone can believe what they want, showing that in the past religion has interfered in cases of equality. Just show that the two things should be kept separate. I think it will be less offensive that way.

Also, I know the prompt says to write on the issue, but it also specifies the "importance to you." Don't dominate your essay about it, but make it a bit more obvious, like the best friend comment is very discreet. Make things like that stand out a little more and explain its importance, don't just let it be implied. Make it better than this, but something like "Having an openly gay best friend for the past __ years, I have seen more clearly how unequal gays are in society. This discrimination has made the issue all the more personal for me after witnessing the effects first hand." and then transition with "As many people may not know or be close with someone who is homosexual, they do not realize how little rights gays do in fact have and as a result use phrases like "that's so gay" and "faggot," completely unaware that they are demeaning gays in doing so."

Anywho I hope that helps and if you need any more help I'd be more than happy to.
OP coeurreign 2 / 45  
Dec 2, 2010   #5
Thank you angelusfanatic for your comments. They really helped me and I think the first essay is great and all I need to do now is show it to my teacher, who will perfect it.

Anyone have any thoughts about my second essay?
lanes 5 / 33  
Dec 3, 2010   #6
This was a great essay, very passionate,
the only thing I suggest, is that you make it way more personal. I know you mentioned having a gay best friend, but talk more about the way you feel. Other then that it was great

good job,
good luck!
OP coeurreign 2 / 45  
Dec 4, 2010   #7
Thank you for your comment lanes.

My second essay still needs a lot of help though.
wooleyj 4 / 17  
Dec 4, 2010   #8
Thanx SO much for critiquing my short essays!!

I love the first essay, but I think you should fix the concluding sentence because it can be stronger.

The only thing wrong is how close minded some people are to those who deviate from the norm.

you can hyphenate "close-minded" and I would slip in the word "judge" as in "close-minded people who judge those who deviate from the norm" something like that, though student123 makes a good point:

Who says what is normal and what isn't?

society's norm or some people's norm
OP coeurreign 2 / 45  
Dec 4, 2010   #9
Again, thanks for your comments, but like I said, I now need help with the second essay.
speranza - / 1  
Dec 4, 2010   #10
Sorry for intruding in on your thread but I have to say something. Don't rely on wooleyj for help on your essay. They apparently don't even know how to write their own considering the fact that he/she STOLE my supplements for NYU. I'm very upset. Stealing someone else's format and words directly and substituting in a few of your own words IS PLAGARISM! I'd be cautious about posting you essays on this website if I were you because there are people like wooleyj would go around stealing other's work. Finding out that your work has been stolen is probably of the most infuriating things ever. I just found about an hour ago and I'm fuming! I can't believe people are pathetic enough to have the nerve to steal in order to get admission. If they aren't creative and original to write their own essay, they definitely don't deserve, and aren't capable, of being a student at NYU.

Thanx SO much for critiquing my short essays!!

YOUR SHORTANSWERS WOOLEYJ!!! More like MY SHORT ANSWERS!!!

On the side note. I actually like your second essay more than the first one because it tells me something about you. In the conclusion however, you use "it" and "I" a lot. Try to rewrite those sentences to eliminate the problem and make the last sentence stronger to leave a lasting impression.

Your first essay states a lot of facts that admissions officers more than likely already know. Also take out the references to the Bible because discussion of religion is very controversial and risky to write about. You mentioned having an openly gay best friend (I do too :)). Try elaborating more on that. Mention an encounter you had when something happened to your friend (such as being called a "faggot") and talk about how it impacted you. You've gotten off on a good start though :)

Good luck, but be CAREFUL
OP coeurreign 2 / 45  
Dec 5, 2010   #11
Thanks for that speranza. You're right, the conclusion is a bit weak, but I still think the whole thing's weak. I already know that my first essay in "fact-y" and the whole religion thing is kind of offensive. I've changed that as well as putting more of myself into the essay.

I'm not going to comment about your beef with wooleyj because that's between you guys and I have no idea what's going on there. Oh, and I'm aware that some people will steal another's essay, which is why I don't post final copies or even the corrections I've already made. Like this is just a really really rough draft.

Can anyone else help me with my answer to the second prompt as my first essay is already done?
sdawn 2 / 15  
Dec 9, 2010   #12
I really like your second essay. Though, I think you should show this to your English teacher (really helps!) because I spot a few grammatical errors. When you said you wanted to be a Foreign Services Officer, it was really quite a surprise, though a pleasant one.


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