Here are three of the essays required by the MIT application, review mine and I'll take a look at yours!
We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (*)(100 words or fewer)
I love swimming. The fresh water lake in Geneva is a wonderful place to go with friends in the summer. In winter, I go to the public pool, which is altogether different, but still an amazing experience every time. What I really enjoy about swimming is that it is not only a good way to exercise, but also the most soothing one that I know of. When I swim, I can think about different things that occupy me in a calm and relaxed way. One can even go into deep philosophical thoughts on certain occasions.
Although you may not yet know what you want to major in, which department or program at MIT appeals to you and why? (*) (100 words or fewer)
I want to major in Physics. I have had a passion for physics ever since I was studying it in high school. What I find inspiring about it is that physics is the most basic science in the world. I have often thought of myself as a very curious person, and I want to find out the answers to those very basic, but fundamentally important questions. I guess physics is my passion in life. On top of that, MIT has a physics program which would allow me to start studying advanced subjects very quickly, and provides research opportunities early in college.
Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?(*) (200-250 words)
I am from Geneva, Switzerland.
Geneva is a paradoxical city. On the one hand, it is a traditional, close-knit society; but on the other, there is an international side to Geneva that is open to the world. This is manifested by the presence of the United Nations, CERN and the International Red Cross in the city. I think I belong to the international side of Geneva, given the mix of cultures and languages in my family and my background.
At home, history and politics have a significant presence. This is one of the reasons I am interested in those subjects and read a lot about them outside of school. Since my childhood, I discussed scientific subjects with my father, who always seemed to have an answer to my questions. These conversations triggered my initial interest in science. I later developed that interest through school, where the physics program and teachers reinforced my curiosity. Since tenth grade, I have attended a series of seminars (Colloque Wright) on quantum physics in 2010, and another one on molecular architecture this year. Both of these were provided by the university on Geneva, and I was ushered to go there by my teachers.
These elements of my background have made me want to go to a leading school to explore my interests and at the same time mix with other people like myself. My aspiration is to go far in my studies, and MIT would be my ideal choice.
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Question #2 sounds great. I would suggest these minor changes.
I want to major in Physics. I have had a passion for physics ever since I wasbegan studying it in high school. What I find inspiring about itthe subject is that physicsit is the most basic science in the world. I have often thought of myself as a very curious person, and I want to find out the answers to those very basic, but fundamentally important questions. I guess physics is my passion in life. On top of thatIn addition , MIT has a physics program which would allow me to start studying advanced subjects very quickly, and provides research opportunities early in college.MIT provides research opportunities for its students early on in the college experience. Also, MIT's excellent physics program would allow me to start studying advanced subjectsvery quicklyas soon as possible .
Question #3 sounds well written. I just picked out two sentences that
could use some rewording.
This is one of the reasons I am interested in thosethese subjects, and read a lota great deal about them outside of school.
Both of these were provided by the university on GenevaThe university of Geneva provided both of these , naturally I was ushered to go thereattendthe university by my teachers.
