Hello, I'm becoming a senior and planning to apply to Georgia tech early action. Any feedback is appreciated. Thank you in advance and have a great day!
Prompt: Why do you want to study your chosen major at Georgia Tech, and how do you think Georgia Tech will prepare you to pursue opportunities in that field after graduation?
I'm fascinated by chemistry and I want have a job related to it
Chemistry is something that fascinated me since I first faced this subject in 7th grade. Although my friends didn't understand why I love chemistry so much, the chemical reactions and the chemistry behind them attracted me. When I first took a high school chemistry class in 10th grade, I dreamed of myself studying more complex and fascinating chemistry in university and having a job related to it. As I chose chemistry as my higher level subject and wrote an extended essay on chemistry, my interest and affection towards this subject got even bigger.
I googled universities that have chemistry courses, and I found Georgia Tech. When I opened "Georgia Tech Chemistry and Biochemistry" page, a video grabbed my attention. It was about a chemistry graduate student who works on metabolites to better detect cancer before it reaches a critical stage. My aunt, who is also my best friend, suffered from cancer and I was distressed for not being able to help her. After watching this video, I undoubtedly thought that I want to study at Georgia Tech. As I searched in depth about Georgia Tech, I realized it has systematic and organized programs that will support me after graduation. What I have learned at Georgia Tech will definitely help me pursue my passion in chemistry and grab the opportunity after graduation. I want to be a proud Georgia Tech Yellow Jacket.
Hello Justin, I like your essay but it can be much better than this. Change your choice of words when describing how the chemical reactions fascinated you. The part where you stated your aunts condition brings a personal touch and reason as to the passion you have for chemistry. Try to connect it with your initial attraction to chemistry and make a more solid point.
A lot of universities have chemistry courses, so amend that part to properly describe what you saw in Georgia tech that picked your interest.
I guess there is word limit? So try to eliminate and avoid unnecessary details to better deliver a valid response.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 10,552 3449
Justin, your response to the essay prompt is nowhere near the question being asked. The question is asking you to prove to the reviewer that you are not only familiar with the course offerings and student programs of Georgia Tech, but that you also have a career goal in mind which is why you chose the university in the first place. Discard this whole essay and write a new one. Do not write a new essay until you have first established a clear reason as to why you think Georgia Tech will provide you with the proper academic and technical skills to become an excellent chemist in the future.
You failed to prove that you properly researched your academic and professional goals in relation to the programs that the Georgia Tech Chemistry and Biochemistry departments offer. Where do your core values as a student intersect with the university? How does the mission of the department appeal to you? Which are the programs, facilities, and services that relate to your chosen major that you think will be the proper venues for helping you to prepare to become a modern day Chemist or biochemist?
The essay that you wrote is irrelevant as it speaks of your past inspirations rather than the new inspiration that you have developed through a familiarity with the work of the GA Tech published professors or accomplishments of the Chemistry and Biochemistry department of the university. Citing Google as a reason you found and chose a university is not impressive either. That is like saying, " I drew from a bowl filled with names of a university and yours came up." Definitely a very weak reason to choose the university and will not be appreciated by the reviewer. Your personal story is also irrelevant as a response as it does not really portray an academic and career oriented goal for your reasons to study at GA Tech.