I chose to answer the prompt below with a 5000 character limit (currently mines at 3,436 which I'm fine with). I want to ask for help with any errors you may notice or ways I could word things better. The deadline for this essay is tonight, so I posted the incomplete version to get some quick feedback. I truly appreciate any help from fellow forum members, this may be the deal breaker for my admission.
During freshman year of high-school I moved in with my older brothers, who were both finishing their undergraduate studies at the University of Florida. Being among my brothers, I'd talk too many of their friends -- students with varying majors -- and ask about their interests, research and advice. Through discourse, I learned these students were passionate about something, and with deliberate actions they were able to make significant changes.
I quickly realized the importance of finding my own passion, or something I could frame my outlook around and do for the rest of my life. After stumbling through an array of hobbies I became invested in trying to learn how to build web applications similar to the ones I found myself using daily. The pursuit of that interest served as an incubator for my two passions to grow side-by-side: one for design and the other for code. I'd often be at coffee shops for hours working on small throw away applications to sharpen my skills. Some days were spent tweaking designs and creating user interfaces that were not only pleasant to look at, but also felt seamless when used. Other days I'd write code to breathe life into those previously static designs; occasionally pausing to check if the logic of the program flowed well and removing any error prone snippets.
As I became better versed in web development and design, I was contracted by others to work on their projects as a freelancer. Through freelancing I've met plenty of great clients and worked on a number of fun jobs. I realized, though, while making extra side money doing what I love is nice, it loses its appeal after working on almost the same projects over and over again. The results start to become predictable once you're assigned to build your tenth blog or ecommerce site, and even when I try to push myself the reality of a client's needs becomes a limitation. I looked back to see what initially fueled my passion for design and code, and remembered it was the experience of learning new things; the direction I was going down was not the one I wanted to continue following. I didn't want to become an anonymous programmer in a cubicle farm if it pushed learning to the side, and instead demanded me to crank out only what I already knew. I'd rather join a group of people who work at the fringe of innovation, and prioritize learning and exploration; in other words, to become a researcher.
Human-Computer Interaction is the field I want to help advance, for creating new experiences and interactions between people and machines is a direct application of my interests in both code and design. Georgia Institute of Technology is a school that can potentially put me in line with this goal, especially as an undergraduate student. Under the Computer Science department's eight Threads of specialization, particularly the People Thread, I'd be able to study Computer Science with a slant towards my interest in Human-Computer Interaction.
Experience has taught me, though, that you must add value before you receive it. So with that belief, I would waste no time in proving to be an asset to the Georgia Tech community. My biggest draw to a school like Georgia Tech is that it attracts students with knowledge and passion that matches, or even exceeds, my own. I've rarely had the chance to meet others with similar interests as mine; usually through random encounters at coffee shops or deliberately getting in touch with them. I can only imagine how great it would be to have the opposite happen, and instead be surrounded by peers who share similar interests. I wouldn't waste the opportunity it presents, but also would reciprocate value back to this kind of community. As stated, Georgia Tech is made of students with similar interests but an array of personal experiences and upbringings. I want to bring my whole self to the table, and become heavily involved in contributing to outside projects using an interdisciplinary approach with other students; after all, the fact is that a Computer Scientist will be even more effective when paired up with a businessman, designer, or other engineers.
Still working on the conclusion, I will post more as I finish. Again thanks for any replies!
I'm sorry that your essay wasn't reviewed before yesterday's deadline, but I commend you for conveying your academic interests and goals, while staying under the character limit.
(example) The results start to become predictable once you're assigned to build your tenth blog or ecommerce site, and even when I try to push myself the reality of a client's needs becomes a limitation.
A suggestion for future essays: You switch between "I" and "you" while writing. Has the reader done freelance projects?
The results start to become predictable once you're I am assigned to build your my tenth blog or e- commerce site, and even when I try to push myself the reality of a client's needs becomes a limitation.
Good luck for when decisions are announced
(3/15/2010) !
Well, this is great writing! I apologize for missing the deadline! Here is an idea below that you can consider, even though you already submitted.
and with deliberate actions they were able to make significant changes.
Can you be more specific? I feel like a sentence is missing from this intro paragraph, because it would be so good to complete this line of thinking by saying what this means for you, giving a thesis statement that expresses the real meaning of your essay.
