ESSAY #1: In an essay of 300 words or less, write about how your personal or academic interests relate to your intellectual or professional goals.
I had always been a passionate drawer and painter. There is never enough time for me to do art. Art has always been a part of me and hasn't left ever since. My fondness toward visual art made me sensitive and attached to the arts around my surroundings: I enjoy watching advertisement, I can remember theme songs of movies or TV, I am attracted to product packaging and book covers. Therefore I strive to also use my own artistic ability to combine art and society together.
It is my goal to study Graphic design in School of Art and Design at the University of Illinois Champaign. By completing my studies, I can transcend my artistic qualities into society by designing product packages, posters, books, environments, spaces, websites and other Medias with a visual languages; I will be able to communicate efficiently and fluently with the language by using imagery from digital or non digital sources, typography, digital and non digital tools. To
The world is changing constantly. I hope to not only acquire the newest ideas and concepts but also develop them as well as technological and traditional skills in your school. By studying and training in the Visual Communication program, I hope to speak fluently in the language of art and bridge the between art and the society.
#2: In an essay of 300 words or less, choose one extracurricular activity, work experience or community service project from the list you provided on the application and explain why you initially chose it, why you continued with it, and how you benefited from it
One interesting extracurricular activity that I have done is Broad designing for my school. It started in elementary school when I volunteered to decorate the bulletin board for my classroom. I wanted to use my drawing skills to make our room a bit more homey and beautiful. I remember I did such a good job that my teacher made me the board decorator of our class. I would decorate bulletin boards for school events, club and funds, or any news. I continued my job after I entered high school, decorating bulletin boards for my clubs and the school. Through the admiration of my friends, I received much recognition which encouraged me in my role. I enjoyed making the school a more appealing place to be.
Through my special tasks, I have determined my career aspirations as a graphic artist. It built me a strong foundation to many design elements such as proximity, type, colour and alignment which allows me a step ahead of the others in learning graphic design.
and I have written another one:
My love for art came within my inner self. Growing up, I had always left a seat for drawing. Doesn't matter whether I am holding a crayon, a marker, a pen or a pencil, I always find the pleasure of making my imagination come alive.
To further pursue of my love of art, my mother have put me in drawing, painting lessons since a child. In that class I have learned the skills and techniques that could strengthen the qualities of my work.
When my teacher felt that I was ready, I was introduced to acrylic painting. I was fascinated with the varieties of colours I could use. I started to use colour as a way of expressing myself. I begin to see different colours that are all around my society. My teacher told me to not to be fooled by the direct colour of the object, but to analyze deeply; Due to the lighting and shadows it may not be the colour of how it actually is.
From a hobbie, art has become a dream, a career for me. I am glad to be able to use art in my job in the future.
My problem is that I have written them over and over again now I am speaking like a kindergardener. I really don't know how they are and how to improve.HELP!
The first of these essays is the strongest. Really it just needs some clean up of the grammar. Some things you might want to change include the folowing"
"Art has always been a part of me and hasn't left ever since." The second part of this sentence sounds awkward. Revise or omit.
"fondness toward" should be "fondness for"
"made me sensitive and attached to the arts around my surroundings" should be "made me sensitive to the art in my surroundings."
"It is my goal to study" can be shortened to "I wish to study"
"and bridge the between art and the society.: should be "and bridge the gap between art and the society. "
The second essay seems to present a fairly minor extracurricular activity. If you have something a bit more weighty to discuss, you might want to consider using that instead. If you stick with this one, though, change the last line to "which puts me a step ahead of the others in learning graphic design."
The third essay sounds like an alternative for the first one, but the first one is much better written, so I'd stick with that.
Try starting like this:
I have always been a passionate drawer and painter.
or:
I have always had interest in and aptitude for creating visual art.
My problem is that I have written them over and over again now I am speaking like a kindergardener. I really don't know how they are and how to improve.HELP!
I understand what you mean!! It feels sometimes like our mental energy gets depleted after too much writing. Look at it again when you are refreshed. For each essay, ask yourself what meaningful truth -- not just about you, but about life -- is being captured in this essay. An essay can be about two things at once: Your interests/activities AND some meaningful truth about the value of visual art.
In your case, you have been working with visual art for a long time, so you also have a theme of "finding your calling" early in life. You were born for it, it seems. You can try adding a meaningful sentence to the beginning and end of the esays you choose to send.
:)
