Wrote a different Common App essay because of how cliche my other one was. Hope this one is better, let me know what you guys think!
Please give honest feedback and any grammar or punctuation corrections would be great! Thank you :)
Common App Prompt: Influential Person
At times I hated Swathi Aunty, at times I admired her, but to this day I am thankful for having her as my dance teacher. At the young and tender age of four, I detested dance. For one thing, my older sister who was nine years old at that time was constantly praised for her ability to grasp the art form immediately while I struggled in her shadow to learn the simplest moves. My mother would be exasperated and Swathi Aunty would tell her to be patient. "The love will dawn soon," she would tell her. I did not understand what this meant at that age but throughout the course of my life, she has provided me with the aggravations and realizations to allow me to comprehend her passion for this art form.
As I soon learned then, Swathi Aunty took no excuses and dismissed any students who did not respect dance the way she did. Her first impression of me will always be of the loquacious child who spoke at any given opportunity. Out of no where, a sharp sting would come in my arm from the wooden stick which Swathi Aunty would fling at me. "Get out," she said. Plain and simple. I immediately became the class clown among the parents and students of the class. This happened numerous times over the years. Sometimes it rained, sometimes it was cold, but I stood outside. She didn't care, and quite frankly, I didn't either. After spending countless Saturday afternoons on the pavement, listening to the complaints of many students being scolded by Swathi Aunty, I decided to remain inside with the class in company of my classmates and sister. I remained apathetic in my willingness to learn dance, but her severe punishments sure taught me to cut it out.
As I grew older, I slowly started seeing through Swathi Aunty's strict, unfair cover and realized her sensitivity and passion towards dance. I noticed her struggles as a single mother of two children yet despite maintaining two arduous jobs she managed to find time to dedicate towards something she was passionate about. Her severe punishments served as a way to allow students to develop the same seriousness and passion for dance that she had. Her one-of-a-kind spirit is unparalleled to any teacher I have had thus far and this is the spirit which I slowly started developing as I practiced and dedicated my time more sincerely.
Today, thirteen years later, I have grown to admire Swathi Aunty in more ways than I imagined. Not only has she perfected and critiqued every dance move, but she shaped me into the person I am today. My class clown reputation forced me to strive for perfection and though this reputation still remains to this day, Swathi Aunty knows that she has succeeded in infusing this love and passion within me for the rest of my life.
At times I hated Swathi Aunty, and at times I admired her, but to this day I am thankful for having her as my dance teacher.
...that time was constantly praised for her ability to grasp the art form immediately, while I struggled in her shadow to learn the simplest moves.
As I soon learned then , Swathi Aunty took no excuses and dismissed any students who did not respect dance the way she did.
...maintaining two arduous jobs she managed to find time to dedicate to something she was passionate about.
Her one-of-a-kind spirit is unparalleled by any teacher I have had thus far, and this is the spirit which I slowly started developing, as I practiced and dedicated my time more sincerely.
Today, thirteen years later, I have grown to admire Swathi Aunty in more ways than I could have imagined.
Not only has she perfected and critiqued every dance move, but she has shaped me into the person I am today.
Have fun in school and good luck!
:)
