greetings from Ghana! I need help . kindly give me some feedback on the essay below.
This is the Prompt: Imagine looking through a window at any environment that is particularly significant to you. Reflect on the scene, paying close attention to the relation between what you are seeing and why it is meaningful to you. Please limit your statement to 300 words.
As I slide the window of my memory, it opens to the 6th of March 2007 and I see thousands of feet stamping their way to Ghana's Independence Square. These people are on their way to Ghana's 50th birthday party, a celebration of human liberation. Although Ghana had broken the shackles of colonialism 50 years earlier, my beloved country has not yet escaped all its troubles. Today, however, is a day of pomp and pageantry.
My close friend, Kofi Frempong, and I also beat a steady rhythm on the dusty, balding planet beneath our feet. The road leading to the square was awash with many colors, but dominant were the red, gold, and green of Ghana's flag. Teeming around me were people from every corner of the nation. Also present were our kindred spirits from every crevice in the planet-black people, white people, green people and all the other exciting accidents of human diversity. Their eyes were misty with dreams for the coming years and fragments of memories of half-fulfilled political and socio-economic dreams.
As we sliced a winding path through the crowd, I felt waves of left-over euphoria from the first independence celebrations fifty years earlier. This memory kept smashing into the upwelling of hope and expectations of what the next fifty years has in store for us.
Reflecting on this scene fills me with gratitude for the amount of progress we have made as a nation. This does not imply that I am oblivious to how much of our national potential remains unachieved. I know that the collective dreams of my fellow citizens and I can only materialize on the altar of personal and national sacrifice. I believe that an active participation in public service is the highest expression of this commitment. Embracing this challenge whole-heartedly is therefore the ultimate purpose of my education and training.