GIVING THE NECESSARY SERVICE TO MY OWN PLANET IS MY UNIVERSAL GOAL

Tell us more about one or, two activities that are most important to you. Please explain the role you played and what you learned in that process.(maximum 350 words)

UBC UNDERGRADUATE APPLICATION

CLUB:

Being a member of the club called 'NSEC ' I feel proud to say that I have done a great job exquisitely than most others. The reason is when our club held a " tree plantation" program, the leader of my club decided to buy only 2.5 kgs seeds of Ashoka tree, and 1 kg of palm trees. Right then I opined that we needed trees with wide canopies to reduce CO2 from air because generally speaking most of the tropical trees with wide canopies have thick trunks, so in general knowledge : the wider the trunk the more it will be able to suck CO2. That's why I invested a big share from my own pocket to buy such saplings like The Great Banyan(great for carbon di-oxide reduction and the finest for shading in scorching summer ) , Indian Mahogany( CO2 shortening, and gives great foilage), Tulsi tree ( it's a very small type of tree species but perhaps the most efficient in cutting off carbon), Neem ( besides it's great shade Neem is famous for aliviete the fatal Pox disease) and Sal tree ( It is also well known for providing foilage and other uses of its leafs). However in a mega city like Kolkata has hardly any space for planting such giants like Banyan. So I took them to my native village and planted four of them on my father's own land. Besides my exploits in tree plantation I have been given responsibility to spreading awareness to my own locality about child abusing, practicality of educations, environmental issues, caste problems. Recently a well known social activist called Anand Shiva, call on a country based mission which is : visiting primary schools and take a 30 minutes class to aware children of how government is brain washing common folks about how their party is ensuring the protection of natural forests while in reality they are letting corporates to eat our last remaining forests and mega faunas. So the leader and vice leader of NSEC decided that 4 members will do the job and one of them is me. Moreover, other members of my club deeply appreciate my works on spreading acquaintances on social medias on education systems, veganism, natural destruction and anti- speciesism which are one of the base motto of my club.

- Feel free to share your opinion.

Hi,
I think you're essay is interesting, and I can see your passion for wild life and trees.
That being said, I feel like some of the sentences are overly elaborate and lengthy, sapping away my interest.

"That's why I invested a big share (...) uses of its leafs)"

I think you could most definitely cut down this bit, maybe the descriptions of each of the trees.
Instead, explain why- other than your idea to plant trees with thicker trucks- you have done "a great job" (btw I don't think you need the "exquisitely than most others", it's redundant)

ALso,
"So the leader and vice leader ..."

"THe leader of NSEC appointed me as of one of the 4 members to do the job"

Supantha, you have explained the role that you played in the club, but you have not discussed what you learned in the process. Aside from an enumeration of club activities, you did not really portray any lesson learned during your time with the club. That is why I do not believe that this essay will be effective as a response to the prompt. You need an activity where you participated in a more significant way than just using your money to purchase something to help the club. You need to portray a deeper sense of participation where you actually managed to make a difference, which, through the course of your performance of your tasks, you learned something about either regarding yourself, the cause, or why this activity was of true importance to you. This is all about your personal experience while participating in the activity. It is not about listening to the lecture of a speaker. After you indicated that you would become one of the members who will work on the task indicated, you did not follow up on the discussion regarding your lesson learned during that period. At this point, you have 2 choices, either write a new essay with a new focus for the topic or, revise this essay to better reflect the required participation and learning on your part.