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GKS engineering summer program - Solutions to Real Problems

andressag 1 / 1  
Apr 12, 2019   #1
Hello everyone! I am applying to GKS engineering summer program 2019. I am from Brazil, so I am not a native speaker. It would be really helpeful if you can give me feedback about my grammar and structure. They asked me to briefly introduce myself and give reasons why I want to participate in this program!

Thank you in advance,

Chonnam National University gks program application

I have been studying production engineering at the Federal University of Juiz de Fora and during this period I have been engaging myself in many different extra class activities. I was part of Student Society, which aims to work in projects that benefit students to achieve extra knowledge in production engineering; Consulting club, which aims to do engineering consulting to local companies; Professor assistant, I was the tutor for students and participate in Engineering conferences from my state. Those activities helped me to develop important skills like leadership, teamwork, project management, and creativity.

Given my path there are three may reasons why I want to participate in the Chonnam National University GKS summer program.

First of all, the GKS can provide unique in-depth academic training from engineering professors with a different background. Learning from them will provide me useful and new knowledge and also another perspective to understand already know subjects. Furthermore, the interaction with other Koreans and Latin American's from different countries could improve my intercultural skills since it would be a valuable exchange culture.

Secondly, the GKS can make my dream to go back to Korea a reality. In the last year, I studied one semester in a business school in Korea with a scholarship from my university. I absolutely loved this experience and I adapted very well living there. I learned about culture, history, and technology which opened my mind about Korea living style. I also took Korean classes and I have been studying Korean since I come back to Brazil. During this time, I had the opportunity to solve real cases from Samsung and LG. In LG's competition, my team passed to the finals and we presented our idea to LG's manager. Visit Korea again would be a great opportunity to practice my Korean and try new experiences.

Finally, one of the goals that I have, when I started my major, was to participle in a research program and discover solutions for real problems. Until now I didn't have the opportunity to do this in my university, so the GKS summer program would be a once in life chance to challenge myself in this field and search for an important unsolved problem that my country is struggling to solve it. For one year I was an engineering intern in a core of innovation and technology transfer at a federal institute of education, science and technology and there I experienced that exists a big distance between mostly universities and companies in Brazil. I do believe that Korea can be a great environment for this research because it has many contributions and successful cases for partnership between universities and companies.

pg1811 1 / 2 2  
Apr 12, 2019   #2
First Para-
I was a part of ... the students and helps them (sounds much better) achieve more knowledge.

production engineering; Consulting club
use such as instead of ;

Professor assistant, where I tutored/taught the students and participated

Second Para-
Given my past, I strongly believe (comma) there are three main reasons, (comma) why I'm determined to ...

Third Para
engineering professors from different background.(you're referring to professor's background, I believe)

... will provide me with useful and ... also add another ... the already known subjects

Furthermore, the interaction ... America from different countries could (could means you're not sure) will improve my intercultural skills, (comma) since ...

Fourth Para

... of going back to Korea, a reality.

In the last Previous year, I studied for a semester ..., with a because of a scholarship ...
... and I adapted very well...

I also learned about their culture, ... which ... (instead of opened my mind about - gave me an exposure to the) Korean living style.

... to solve real study cases given ...

... by LG, my our (by using the word our, you portray that you're a team player, which according to me is a good sign) team passed to qualified for the finals, where we ... Visiting Korea again, (comma) would be ... and also try new experiences (you don't try experience, you live the experience, may be you want to say to learn more about their culture).

Fifth Para

... goals that I still want to pursue, which ... for real life problems.

Until now, (comma) I didn't get such opportunities (plural?) to do this in my university.

... be a once-in-a lifetime chance

I interned as an engineer in the core of ... technology, for a year, where I found out that there exists a big distance (what you want to say is there exists a gap) between many universities ... I believe that Korea can be ...

I would still recommend you, to get 1/2 more proofread.

Parth Gupta
OP andressag 1 / 1  
Apr 13, 2019   #3
Thank you so much for your help!!!

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