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GKS-U Personal Statement BIOTECHNOLOGY


JPM21 2 / 1  
Sep 25, 2020   #1

South Korea is great for researchers in the field of biotechnology



The reason I want to study abroad, especially in South Korea, because I want to study in a country that provides assistance in the research process for researchers in the field of biotechnology, because in my opinion biotechnology is one of the most useful applied sciences for humans, especially in the field of medicine. medicine and health. If I am asked the reason why I chose South Korea, because in my opinion, first, South Korea is a comfortable country for students, secondly, South Korea has good facilities to support my research while working as a researcher, especially in the field of biotechnology, third, South Korea is one of the countries that has advanced health technology in Asia. I believe that the GKS-U program can help me achieve my goals and dreams for the future, when I graduate from university in South Korea. I want to work for 3 years in a biotechnology company in South Korea to get work experience and knowledge from researchers in South Korea So when I return to Indonesia, my knowledge and experience while working in South Korea as a researcher in the field of biotechnology motivates me to make a new innovation in dealing with health problems that exist in Indonesia.

Family is the greatest motivation I have ever had. The lesson that I got from my parents about how to become a human being that is not only beneficial for myself, but for many people, in my opinion is the most important lesson, because from there I became a person who is sociable and not picky friends. Parents to me are the most precious treasure to me. Education is the most important thing for my parents, it can be seen when they always send me to the best places from elementary to high school. For them, education is something that cannot be negotiated, that's why I want to make them proud by being the recipient of this GKS-U scholarship, because I want to make them proud and be able to reduce the cost of education for me by getting this GKS-U scholarship.

When asked about significant experiences I have had, I will answer the failures in my life. The experience of being rejected many times from various state universities in my country made me feel that my life had no future. However, my father said that everyone has a different future and luck and my father encouraged me to move on, for the future that has been prepared for me. I responded by taking steps to register for GKS-U and Asia Youth International Model United Nations and was successfully selected to participate in the Asia Youth International Model United Nations conference virtually.

Marching band is an activity that I participated in since junior high school until graduating from high school. Although, there were no things or experiences that I got from the extracurricular activities related to the major I chose, but the marching band taught me a lot. Kinship, Teamwork, Responsibility, Discipline, Hard Work, Dare to be different, Dare to try something new, made me believe that what I got in the marching band can make me even more prepared to face various challenges and obstacles in the future. I hope that by getting this GKS-U scholarship, I can get valuable experience to be able to study in South Korea, apply what I got from the marching band, and I can make changes, especially in the health sector in my country, Indonesia. I am confident to say that I am ready to adapt to a new place and prepare for my success to get the best results for South Korea and Indonesia with the GKS-U scholarship.

PLEASE CORRECT MY ESSAY

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,742 3075  
Sep 26, 2020   #2
Your motivation to study in Korea is not making sense. You just said the same thing 3 different ways. Simply repeating ideas does not make it a proper motivational statement. Rather, it only provides a useless redundancy in the presentation. You need to provide evidence for your motivation. As a researcher, what programs does Korea support in the field of biotechnology that helped motivate you to study this course? How would this motivation apply to helping you become a better biotechnologist or researcher once you return to your home country? The reasons you gave for students such as Korea is a comfortable country does not make sense. A student will not opt to study in a foreign country simply because he would be "comfortable" studying there. As a scholar, you should have better reasons for studying in Korea other than comfort.

Your statement about your parents does not say anything about your relationship with them. There has to be a sense of family dynamic in this essay. What reason makes your family special to you that might also have an effect on the reviewer? How have they contributed to your success in life so far, other than simply paying your academic fees and being supportive of you with words of enlightenment or simply being there to give you a boost when you need it?

Marching band is a good example of an extra curricular activity. I can see that you learned things from participating in the activity. However, you lack severely in terms of awards and recognition that would prove a higher than average intellectual ability and accomplishments that prove you have a true interest in biotechnology or science in general. Information that will be of vital importance to the reviewer who will be considering your application for the next round of considerations.


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