Please provide a statement (250-500 words) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.
Since I was just a little girl back in Vietnam, my not-too-superstitious mother has always said that life would always support my decision, and I would dream big and achieve even bigger. I never believed in her words. Guess what? She was right. Opportunities have been thrown at me ever since. And at the age of sixteen, I jumped at the chance to attend Peninsula College pursuing my AA in Port Angeles, Washington. As my graduation is approaching, transferring to USC will allow me to continue to pursuit my dream and build upon the amazing American life that I began two years ago.
What is my dream? At that time two years ago, my dream was becoming a Math Professor simply because my genuine love for Math and I wanted to convey the beauty of Math to others. But the more I got to interact with the International Club at Peninsula College, the more I grew my passion for the friendship and relations between different people from different background. Amazed by its ethnical diversity, I signed up to be the member of the club immediately. On February 2012, my college held an event called Pub Global, where people with different nationalities share their culture. Being the leader of the Vietnamese booth, I couldn't help to recognize the enormous differences between cultures, even between Chinese culture and Hongkong cultures. After three quarter of being an active member, I got voted to be the Treasurer of the International Club in winter 2012. On May 2012, I volunteered to organize a two days camping-trip for more than thirty members of the International Club in Salt Creek campsite. The culture clash was really complicated and difficult to overcome. But as that night when all of us sitting around the bonfire, laughing, joking and eating over-burned marshmallow, I realized that even significant culture differences could not stop us from integrate and become one. All we need were a little hard work. That was when I know that I was meant to make it happen. I want, no, need to bring people together, not just in a school wide, but internationally. That is why I chose to major in Global Business at University of Southern California.
Peninsula College has diverse background: there are 115 students from different nationalities. I became friends with the students, learning about their culture and organize activities for them to interact with others. I took Spanish classes to communicate with the Hispanic students in my school. Last summer, I traveled to Indonesia by myself to have a first-place experience the differences. They were really educative, but it wasn't enough. I want to challenge myself more. I found that University of Southern California is well-known for its cultural diversity as there are many people from all over the world come and study. This is the environment I want to challenge myself in. So I decided to apply to USC to chase down my dream. The rest of the story depends on your decision.
Am I missing my objective? Do i need to go deeper to my future job??? Those are precisely 500 words.
P/S: to anyone read and leave constructive comments, I'll send you my love, my baked cookies and my best wish that you'll success in everything you're doing, because you are the BEST!
hello there, i have embedded my comments in your essay to make things easier
Since I was just a little girl back in Vietnam, my not-too-superstitious mother has always said that life would always support my decisions , andthat i should dream big and persevere to achieve even bigger!
I would dream big and achieve even bigger . I never believed in her words Why didn't you believe in what she said? Elaborate... . Guess what?But today, I can see that She was right. Opportunities have been thrown at me ever since. And at the age of sixteen, I jumped at the chance to attend Peninsula College pursuing my AA in Port Angeles, Washington. As my graduation is approaching, transferring to USC will allow me to continue to pursuit my dream and build upon the amazing American life that I began two years ago. "The american life" is a dream that most people redicule as it's seen as a myth//fantasy and more often than not most don't achieve their expectations of it; reword this.. explain what time of life you aspire for...
This is a good essay fuelled by good motifs!
I would advise the following to make it stronger;
1. why is global diversity important? Why do YOU think cultures need to not necessarily integrate but become aware of each other?
-- Perhaps because without the awarence of other cultures we are left to be ignorant... conflict arises from the inability to see the other sides perspective and not understand them... being culturally aware allows people to not necessarily agree with the norms and values of other cultures but accept them,
2. You are yet to mention the state of CALIFORNIA -- it is by far one of the most if not the most diverse states in the nation - the perfect setting for your studies.
3. Why do you plan to do with your studies? - "build bridges between cultures"... etc
Read my remarks, revise your essay and post again so we can comment!
As you might expect, USC is one of the most popular schools for transfer students. As such, transferring into USC is almost as hard as getting in as a freshman. Because of this, transfer applications and supporting documents need to be as strong as possible. While you give great reason for your why you wish to study mathematics, you do not give a strong enough reason for why USC? This will be the most pressing issue for anyone that will be applying as a transfer student. Why USC and Why now? Your why now response is easy---but your Why USC vs the hundreds of other California Colleges will need to be developed further. We can help -AAO
Hope this helps