prompt: elaborate on one of your activities(extracurricular activities,personal activities or work experience) 150 words
Standing outside the small building, I took a deep breath. "This is the right thing to do", I thought to myself. As I entered the building, I was greeted by people of different nationalities, gender and religion who also shared my dream.
As a child, my most recurring dream always involved helping my country and making its people better. With this amazing group of people, I was about to take the first step towards achieving that dream.
The main aim of the Global Citizens Project is to foster global citizenship and tolerance among young people irrespective of race, ethnic background, religion and gender. Every year, members come together to raise funds to support a particular charity. Last year, we raised money to help blind school children. Joining this group has changed my life and fuelled my dreams to the fullest.
Being able to give people hope gives me greatest joy.
you don't need to spend the second half of the essay talking about the goal of your club, talk about you, how it changed you, your thought process, thats what colleges want and your taking up valuable space in a 150 word essay doing this. AS it is right now, there isn't a lot an adcom can see about you and while this isn't bad, you want to show more about you and possibly devleop this as much as possible for a 150 word essay.
I agree with the above poster, talk more about yourself, not the club. Maybe shift the focus of the essay towards something along the lines of: "I love golf, for it is a very fun sport and also a way of helping other people"
you only have one sentence at the end 'joining this..' to talk about how the activity has an impact on you.
elaborate more on that. how does it change you? how do you relate it to your goal/interest/value.
that is the part where the reader will know what you think/what you do/ what qualities you display..
