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Global Scientists and Engineers Program Application Essay pt.1


de_doctor 1 / -  
Aug 22, 2021   #1

Tokyo Institute of Technology APPLICATION ESSAY



a) Why do you wish to enroll in this degree program at Tokyo Institute of Technology?
How will completing this degree program contribute to achieving your career objectives?

a) Why do you wish to enroll in this degree program at Tokyo Institute of Technology?
How will completing this degree program contribute to achieving your career objectives?


Growing up in a developing country, my ambition growing up was to help in the development of my country. In order to supplement this decision, I decided that I would take up engineering since that would allow me to take part in the development of cities in my country. To achieve this goal, I require knowledge in many aspects of engineering especially since the problems that I will have to deal with in developing cities and how I deal with them will become a fundamental part of how the city deals with things like transportation, garbage disposal, sewage and much more.

When I learned about the global scientists and engineers program, I thought that it was the perfect opportunity to discover multiple fields of engineering in world-class facilities in one of the best universities in the world. I love that there will be a focus on project-based learning which teaches more practical applications of lessons than purely theoretical lessons. Additionally, the opportunity to choose between fifty laboratories is a great opportunity to expand my knowledge as well as to create new knowledge and applications of knowledge. Particularly OTOMO Junichiro Laboratory's study into energy conversion chemistry is very appealing to me since I have been researching similar topics looking into the energy evolved from chemical reactions since junior high school and I believe that I will be able to contribute much to this laboratory.

In addition, the global scientists and engineers programs would be a melting pot of cultures giving us a global perspective allowing me to be more culturally sensitive while being able to learn from the ideas of others. It would be incredibly interesting to see how the difference in our cultures would change how we approach problem-solving as well as what we identify as a problem.

The Tokyo Institute of Technology also offers extracurricular activities which will allow me to connect more deeply with Japanese cultures such as the tea ceremony club and the shogi club, while also giving me the opportunity to socialize with others on more sports-oriented student organizations where I hope to be active in like the badminton club, the table tennis club and also the swimming club.

Overall the global scientists and engineers program will allow me to further my career objectives by allowing me to learn about multiple disciplines of engineering as well as forge connections with international students. The global scientists and engineers program would also allow me to be more flexible in the fourth year of college, allowing me to specialize in the final year of college, making me an engineer who has transdisciplinary knowledge which aligns better with my career goals.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Aug 23, 2021   #2
The first paragraph fails to make a clear point. It needs to be better thought out and organized since it is meant to be the motivational statement of the presentation. If heavily redundant and lacking in a proper focus. It must be revised through rewriting .

A run-down of the university information,does not make sense. Repeating information known to the reviewer, without connecting it to clear career goals does not offer the kind of familiar discussion that shows and proves the method by which the university was chosen and career oriented decisions that led to the choice.

The essay is not focused on the required career connection at all. A career path as supported by the studies is required.


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