Hey guys I am not a native speaker of English language and i make a lot of grammar mistakes.
Could you please read my essay and tell me what I should change? Thank you
How an education at AUBG will broaden my global perspective to cultivate capacity for social responsibility
Goal setting is a powerful process for thinking about your ideal future, and motivating yourself to turn your personal goals into reality. The better education you get the more comfortable life you have. In many cases academic achievements, personal interests, and life experiences represent who a student really is. A suitable University like AUBG complements my needs to turn my goals into reality, and will broaden my global perspective to cultivate capacity for social responsibility.
AUBG is a well known University in Southeastern Europe. It has a vast diversity of students. Thus, in this University I will meet many students who come from different parts of Europe with whom I can exchange ideas and try to make positive contributions for a better global future. Those students have different ideas about Kosovo. My presence in this University will participate in making a better perspective about Kosovo and other neighboring countries' futures. AUBG is an English speaking environment, which will refine my ability to express my ideas and thoughts. In this way, I will be able to broaden my global perspective.
Some of the courses AUBG offers will sharpen my ability to have a successful career in Business and get a productive job to keep my family. It is not only me who is going to benefit from being a student of AUGB, but also my native country. The Economy of Kosovo, as well as other nations' are dependent on each other. In AUBG I will be surrounded by a number of students with whom I can debate in various business fields how to improve the Economic perspective of those countries. In this way, I'll have the chance to communicate and gain feedback about developments and achievements reached in Kosovo of which they may not be aware.
The question, "what am I going to be in future?" is not bothering only me, but also many high school students. As many high school students, I also want to have a suitable degree for my goals in future. I hope I can follow my future goals carefully and not stray from them. One of my goals that I set for myself is to do well in school. AUBG offers that undergraduate degree I am interested and I am sure that I will be surrounded by a faculty and staff who really cares for me to achieve my academic goals.
Another goal of mine is to get the training and education I need to perform any daily task. I have decided that I want to work in and around technology and business. I know that in order to fulfill my dreams I will have to put in a lot of hard work and time. Another goal of mine is to one day get married and have a few kids. If I get a good education and a stable job I will be pleased to be involved in a charity or other assisting organizations. I also want to participate in different economic fields in my native country which was ruined after the War of 1999. According to some of the research I did, AUBG is one of the Universities in Bulgaria which has the training and education to fulfill those dreams.
The first step and one of my goals toward a successful education is to enroll in AUBG, a University with diverse student body, which satisfies all of my needs to accomplish my goals in life. In AUBG I'll face many difficult tasks, but also be surrounded by a faculty and staff who are dedicated to helping me do well in school. The main purpose of business administration program in this school is to prepare students for entry-level management positions in a wide variety of business fields; this is also the degree I am interested. Thus, after studying for four years to receive this degree, I will broaden my global perspective and cultivate my capacity for social responsibility.
What's AUBG, If you know the meaning of the acronym I think it should be spelled out.
You can Spell out AUGB then afterwards place the Parenthesis (AUGB) then you can use acronym throughout the Essay.
I will continue reading but I may not be best person here in proofreading at this time. Yet, still improving those types of skills here.
Another goal of mine is to get the training and education I need to perform any daily task.
Sentences like this one are too general. Even though you had to overcome a language barrier, you are still able to impress them with specific details about your plan. Your plan is what is most impressive when writing this kind of essay.
This, below, is too general and cliche:
I know that in order to fulfill my dreams I will have to put in a lot of hard work and time.
This part is too ordinary, too boring:
Another goal of mine is to one day get married and have a few kids.
I think it is great that you talk about the specific qualities of AUBG, and I think you should get even more specific about what you want to do there. Your clear plan is what will impress them.
