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'Going to good university' - OH state U essay


epark 2 / 3  
Dec 27, 2011   #1
As you think about the next four years, what are you looking forward to that might surprise your friends or family members?

It's ok to be too critical. I know i need to fix it, but i have no clue.

Please help me!!!

Going to good university is a surprise to my family in itself. As a foreign student, my parents don't expect that I will enroll to good university such as this Ohio State University. One day, I discuss about my goal in family meeting that I want to study a pharmacy and be a pharmacist. My parents said "You?" and worried about me. Actually, I only tried to get descent school grades and rest of my time I'm likely to meet friends, play video games, or sleep. I can guess why my parents reacted like that. Pharmacy requires hard work and long - term study, but when I do homework or studying, I only spend one or two hours. Thus, I planned few things to accomplish my goal and flip over my parents' view point of me.

First plan is paving my grade reports with A and graduating in three years by taking summer classes. This is very important because most of Pharmacy graduate schools usually look at above 3.8 GPA. Also, if I graduate earlier than four years, I don't have to give financial pressures to my family. Secondly, I'll acquire high score on PCAT (Pharmacy College Admission Test) within college life. Getting high score means I can choose great graduate schools where I never allowed look at.

My plans include more details than shown. To accomplish my plans, my time in university must be spent between classes and library. Maybe I have less time to build relationship with others. I'll miss much time to enjoy, but after graduation, I'll be the one who laugh and hand over proud diplomat to my family.
admission2012 - / 477 90  
Dec 27, 2011   #2
This essay needs a lot of work. First and foremost you highlight so many negative things about you that it is highly likely that Ohio State would not accept you in the first place. You should always write your essays from a point of strength. Highlight your strengths while downplaying any weaknesses while staying on neutral subjects. Parents are usually a child's biggest cheerleaders. If you tell Ohio State that your parents doubt your academic abilities, why should they accept you? There are many others way that you can "surprise" your friends and family without sabotaging your chances of admissions along the way. - AAO

Hope This Helps
OP epark 2 / 3  
Dec 27, 2011   #3
Thanks for help!


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