For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University."
I am a true believer in the power of "Vires, Artes and Mores". Strength in more than one dimension is needed to be successful. Seeing the beauty in life and contributing to it's aesthetic features makes it that much more enjoyable. Being able to identify yourself with personal customs, traditions defines your character, making you an asset to society. I feel I have these three qualities and have developed them throughout my life.
I display "Vires" in my everyday life. Although I may not be the most physically strong person, I definitely have intellectual strength. I have spent my whole life trying to be as intelligent as I can be. I have always been a good student and have challenged myself by taking the hardest classes and studying for endless hours.
"Artes" has dominated most of my life. I love art and anything relating to it. I still remember my first solo concert back in first grade. It was the first time I realized music was my passion, and it has never stopped being so. I sang in every school play and joined my high school chorus. Every time I sing, I get a rush like no other. It is my therapy. I believe being able to share my talent with the world to contribute to it's the beauty.
My whole identity is defined by "Mores". Coming from Hispanic culture, I have customs and traditions that are diverse from any other. I had the opportunity to get a first hand experience in my culture by spending most of my life in the Dominican Republic. There, I ate rice and beans everyday, went to my grandma's house every Sunday after church, burnt incense to purify our home and ran away from "The Diablos Conjuelos" on independence day. Even though I now live in Florida, I still carry my Hispanic culture to heart and it will always be a part of who I am.
Going to FSU will only make me stronger, more artistic and build my character. I will continue to push myself academically to make sure my intelligence will endure. I will always carry my love for music by attending concerts or even being a part of the choir. I will continue to keep my Hispanic culture alive by keeping traditional roles and celebrating important holidays. I will live the philosophy, as I presently do.
Even though I now live in Florida, I still carry my Hispanic culture to heart and it will always be a part of who I am. (INSTEAD OF CARRY MY HISPANIC CULTURE TO HEART, HOW ABOUT IN MY HEART)
Going to FSU will only make me stronger, more artistic and build my character. I will continue to push myself academically to make sure my intelligence will endure. (WILL NOT ONLY ENDURE, BUT CONTINUE TO GROW. I will always carry my love for music by attending concerts or even being a part of the choir. I will continue to keep my Hispanic culture alive by keeping traditional roles and celebrating important holidays. I will live the philosophy, as I presently do.
Hi
nice essay, I just thought if you could expound on this one more "I have always been a good student and have challenged myself by taking the hardest classes and studying for endless hours. "
What classes did you take that makes you stronger person? How challenging are those classes?
Good Luck in your admission essay.
Coming from Hispanic culture, I have customs and traditions that are diverse from any other.
I'm not sure what you mean by this. Isn't every culture unique? In talking about this, it would be good to not only talk about Dominican culture, which shares characteristics with other Hispanic cultures but also has its own features, but also show that you are eager to meet and learn from the people of other cultures who you will encounter in college.
Overall, the essay is strong in that you touch on all of the values, giving a good example for each. I'd like to see a stronger conclusion.
