"We're going to stay in Sudan for a year." Mom said. "You need to know about your culture and you need to meet your extended family."
My initial impression was shock, but I could understand why she wanted to drag me across the world to Sudan because she believed I was becoming too "Americanized." It's not like I am going out partying and hooking up with people. Heck! I haven't even been kissed before, I know that I am Muslim but I mean I still like going to the movies at night, talking about boys and wearing t-shirts. I prayed, I refrain from the opposite sex and never drank. I saw that at I become too Americanized but that was just part of my culture. But here I was standing in Sudanese Airport after 29 long agonizing hours flying, and sat next to an overweight 42 year old named Marcus who loved to talk about Starwars and a mom that carried a six month old baby that cried nonstop, didn't help either. My mother and I landed at 3am on Wednesday morning, the place was uncomfortably quite for an airport. I thought airports never sleep, well I guess in Sudan they do. The place was small and there were only couple of workers and travelers. I was carrying 10 luggage bags and hassling with all the visa problems; we finally allowed to set into the land of Sudan.
The first thing I saw was a "habbob", my first experience in a sand storm. The world was this red-ish brown color like you're seeing the world through sunglasses. As I looked up to the sky, it looked like it was raining dirt, if that was even possible. The only feeling I felt in that moment was shame, I was ashamed of my homeland. My doubts coming to Sudan disappeared when I saw my grandmother; the reason my mother and I came to Sudan was because my grandmother was having heart failure. It use to be only my mother and I, but now stood my entire family: Uncles, Aunts, cousins, and most importantly my grandmother. It was the first time that I felt love from all of my family members. I looked at all my family and friends for the first time looking at me with so much love even though it has been ten years since they last saw me.
Six month past, I loved Sudan even with its horrible electricity and water cuts, making life near the Sahara desert so much harder. I learned about the Sudanese culture and who I really am. Before my Sudanese experience, I would say a girl that never knew where she belonged but now I can safely say that I am a Sudanese American who swam in the Nile, rode a Camel around the Sahara Desert, and survived Ramadan in the agonizing heat, I am a girl that discovered it is okay to not be truly "American" and loves her family and understands her mother's sincere intentions.
