Hello, I'm applying for UW Madison and i just finished writing my statement and i would like help editing it , or what should i add or remove.
i wrote this with my full honesty and you may see some words that say more bad then good. but if you help edit it and make it not sound not too bad... i would appreciate it a lot! Thanks!
Here's the statement: Tell us why you decided to apply to the University of Wisconsin-Madison. In addition, share with us the academic, extracurricular, or research opportunities you would take advantages of as student. If applicable, provide details of any circumstance that could have had been an impact on your academic performance and/or extracurricular involvement..
Here's my response to the statement:
Ever since i was a freshmen my only task was ti have good grades but i wasn't the type of student every teacher expects to be. In fact my grades weren't good, i was the type of person who doesn't care about school. Until one day i heard the principal telling a student the reasons why he's not graduating High School, as the teacher was talking i identified myself and gave it a second thought, That made me realize that education is important in life. During those four years in High School i never did any extracurricular activities, which is something i regret a lot, also During my sophomore, junior and senior year i have had talked to counselors from uw madison, they guided me and support me during these four years. Thanks to them i'm the person i am now, a good student with good grades and positive thoughts. As my graduation is coming i decided to study business administration and politics, i know uw madison is the right place for me. I want my parents to be proud of me when i step in uw madison because i would be the first person in the family to go to university. I'm doing my best in my senior year because i regret for not paying attention and not trying my best back in freshmen year. I want to graduate in a way i don't have to regret anything. This is why uw madison is the best choice for me, because i know that i will start new and never commit the same mistakes.
Ever since iI was a freshmen, my only task was tito have good grades, but iI wasn't the type of student every teacher expects to be. In fact my grades weren't good, i was the type of person who doesn't care about school.and I didn't care about the school seriously.
Careful with your spellings. Proof read before you submit :)
More than half of your essay focuses on your regretful high school life, which I think would not give the best impression to admission officers.
Read the prompt again -> Tell us why you decided to apply to the University of Wisconsin-Madison. In addition, share with us the
academic, extracurricular, or research opportunities you would take advantages of as student. You should mention your interest in UW and academic/extracurricular opportunities it offers. My suggestion is go to the website, search what kinds of programs the college provides and think how you can perform in the college :) Good luck!
I understand why you mentioned the different individual you were during you Freshman year. Yet, still explain why you want to go or why out of all colleges to choose from, why here? Need more ideas. :)
Thank you so much for you help, i will re post this with my edited statement! :)
Avoid using contractions. I am, not I'm. Was not not wasn't.
Pay attention to capitalization. UW Madison should be capitalized, the same goes with I.
It is maybe not essential, but the admission officers will read it easier when your essay has correct punctuations.
