Hello, any criticism of this essay would be great, whether its on content or grammar. Thanks so much!
The prompt is "Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better."
Dear Roomie,
Man, we are going to have a good time! I am so excited to be sharing a room with you this upcoming year! Now let me tell you about myself so you can be excited too. First off, I'm outgoing, talkative, and always positive. Chances are you'll rarely see me without a smile on my face, unless I'm sleeping. I do sleep a lot; I need my 8 hours, and I enjoy a mid-afternoon nap. However, I'm an extremely deep sleeper, so feel free to play music or hang out with friends while I'm taking a nap, it doesn't make a difference to me! I think you'll find that I'm very easy to live with. If you're messy, so be it, it won't bother me. If you like things squeaky clean, that's ok too! I'll make sure to keep everything clean and put together.
I love music; it is one of the greatest joys in my life. I'm partial to indie music, alternative rock, and I come from a family of deadheads. But if you don't like that music that's fine, I'll listen to anything you want to listen to, as long as there is always music playing in our room. I also like making my own music. I'll be bringing my favorite guitar, a mandolin, and a banjo. You're welcome to play any of them, and if you don't know and want to learn how, I'd be happy to teach you! Unfortunately, I'm not a very good singer, but I like to do it anyways sometimes.
If you like peace and quiet have no fear, you'll have plenty of that as well. I love being outdoors, as long as there is sunlight and warmth (and I'm pretty sure we'll have quite a lot of that!), so chances are I'll be outside quite often. I love a good game of Ultimate Frisbee more than anything, except maybe a particularly exciting chess game.
I hope this letter made you as excited for next year as it did me. We are going to have an amazing time! Now go download that new Matt and Kim album and brush up on your Queen's Gambit opening.
Your Friend,
Spencer
Now let me tell you about myself so you can be excited too. -This sentence is unneeded. You don't need to tell the reader what you're going to say, just say it. I think you need to focus on one thing more. This essay doesn't show who you are very well because you don't focus on what makes you, you. The part about being able to be messy or clean is unnecessary. It doesn't tell anything about yourself and should most likely be omitted. Maybe make the entire essay about your love for music considering that's what you seem to be most passionate about. Stanford doesn't care if you're easy to get along with; they want to know what sets you apart.
