Hi Everyone, I'm an international and I did not spend too much time on writting this paragraph so I hope you guys understand and help me to fix this become better :D
I'm a senior and I will need to apply soon so it would be great if I can have some useful comments from these awsome people in here :X
"What is good about being a teacher"? I wouldn't know how to answer this until I volunteered to be a Pre Calculus grader during senior year. First, I felt disappointed when students make some silly mistakes. "How can a Pre Calculus student draws the secant function wrong", I thought. However, as the students received my solutions, they gradually showed progress. From then, I meticulously wrote the solutions so that the students can get the better understanding. Surprisingly, they kept moving me from one impression to others. I was delighted that the class grade average went up from a C minus to a B minus. My first impression grading their homework as a burden now changes to a happy and relax time after hours of working in classes. I finally realize that the happiness of the teaching job is to see the students' progress thanks to the care of a teacher.
This is my revision version, hope to get some critique from everyone :D
The first time I did it is was boring.
My job was just to corrected correct the students' answers and gave give them the grade.
rarely saw someone made make the
I was very delighted
I think it will be better if you specialize the story of how you grade the students' homework and their progress
Thank you, I fixed it and add the conclusion...
Are there any way I can make this paragraph more interesting because I think this is pretty boring
Well I think you still lack details in your essay. Here are two things you can add in your essay and to make it more interesting.
1. You can talk about some details of your feeling of your first experience of grading the homework. For example, how you felt when you saw some really silly mistakes, and you can list one or two mistakes here.
2. Talk more about the change of mind you underwent. This should be the most important part of the essay but you have largely understated it. Try to find develop more insight here.
Thank you Gianthead for your great input, I will revise it now...
And good luck with your harvard admission :)
First, I felt disappointed when students make made some silly mistakes.
"How can a Pre Calculus student draws draw the secant function wrong? " I thought.
... now changed to a happy and relax time after hours of working in classes. I finally realize realized that the happiness of the teaching job is to see the students' progress thanks to the care of a teacher.---awesome! Correct those small errors, and it will be great.
Do this, too:
From then, ...
From then on, ...
