Zora Neale Hurston '28, an author whose books I have read many of,
Hurston, an author who wrote some of my favorite books... Not sure how you want to phrase this, but this is awkward and you can't end in a preposition
Being an avid fan of her works, I always
You could maybe give more reasons why it's a good choice for you.
Sure, Hurston was great so maybe that means Barnard is great, but why is it perfect for you?
an event held by the Brooklyn Public Central Library to support fellow teenage poets, spoken word artists, and emcees as they present their material
Library that allows fellow teenage poets, spoken word artists, and emcees to share their material
Growing up, it wasn't wrong to say that I had a visceral fear of public speaking. I
It wasn't wrong?
my self confidence was zilch
I don't think something can be
Try to relate this more to the prompt. Say how and why you were suddenly "unafraid." I think conquering your fears is different than being unafraid, so show how you were truly unafraid.