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Govind, SOME ONE WHO HAS INFLUENCED YOU. HOW DID IT IMPACT YOU.


donrocks 5 / 120  
Sep 9, 2010   #1
hello...everyone. pls comment. this is compressed because of word limit.

SOME ONE WHO HAS INFLUENCED YOU. HOW DID IT IMPACT YOU. 250 WORDS MAX.

I read an article sometime back which left a lasting impression on me. This was about a boy, Govind Jaiswal, who came from an extremely poor family. His father earned about 4000 rupees, (us$ 86) and the family lived in a 12*8 sq. ft. rented room in the by lanes of a small town called Varanasi. I squirmed with guilt when I read that he was studying in one room, his ears plugged with cotton to block the sound of the printing machine on ground floor. To add to his woes, there used to be 12 hours of electrical power blackout which would start all the noisy generators in the neighborhood. But Govind never gave up or wallowed in self pity.

Govind had chosen civil services not as choice but as a necessity. He was good in science but could not afford the books. He had to take subjects his friend took so that he could borrow the books. When I didn't fancy a subject, I never ran out of excuses to avoid it but here was a boy who had no choice to decide what he wanted. This made me realize that I am blessed with a comfortable life unlike many others. I once thought I was hard working but now my conscience was reminding me of many an incidents that differentiated boys like Govind from boys like me. Since then I have weighed my problems against Govind's before giving up.

Govind was one of the celebrated toppers of civil service exam.
StephanZ 1 / 3  
Sep 9, 2010   #2
Hi,

I would suggest revising these two sentences a little:

Govind had chosen civil services not as choice but as a necessity. He was good in science but could not afford the books. He had to take subjects his friend took so that he could borrow the books. When I didn't fancy a subject, I never ran out of excuses to avoid it but here was a boy who had no choice to decide what he wanted.

Something like:

Govind did not get to chose his prefered field of science, but had to study civil service so that he could borrow his friends' books. He could not afford his own. Conversly, I would make up any excuse to avoid a subject I did not care for.
OP donrocks 5 / 120  
Sep 9, 2010   #3
thank you very much. i was exceeding the word limit. by editing my sentence and adding your sentence has given me a chance to add an extra sentence.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Sep 11, 2010   #4
Some time (2 words)
Sometime

He had to take subjects his friend took so that he could borrow the books. ---- wow, this is a tough predicament!

Comma:
This made me realize that I am blessed with a comfortable life, unlike many others.

Since then I have weighed my problems against Govind's before giving up.--- very good!

You did a great job with this!
OP donrocks 5 / 120  
Sep 12, 2010   #5
Thanks Kevin.


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