11th grade IB application - Introduce yourself as a learner.

Could someone overlook this essay for me please I would like to know where and how I could improve it

Prompt:
Introduce yourself as a learner. Describe two areas of strength- Providing examples where possible. what goals for further development as a learner will you set for yourself n the years to come .

Hello my name is Tobi Adejumo and I am a first generation Nigerian and a very knowledgeable open-minded thinker. Over the eleven years of education that I have acquired I have come to love learning. Learning to me is more than just going to class and reading textbooks but also watching the news reading newspapers and know what is going on in our world. My strongest suits are math and the ability to inquire knowledge about abstract and complex ideas.

Charles Caleb Colton once said "The study of mathematics, like the Nile, begins in minuteness but ends in magnificence." If this is true then the heights in which one can reach with mathematics is enormous. For me I believe that mathematics can take one anywhere in this world and without even the simplest sense of mathematics there is not much one can do. Ergo for me math is more than just a simple class but the foundation of my life. As an inquisitive thinker that I am I usually find myself ahead of the class because of my passion to inquire more knowledge about the concepts and advancements of math in our world. Because of this I have purposefully divided in my mind to acquire as much mathematical information and i believe that the International Baccalaureate program can do this for me.

John Locke, an enlightenment thinker of the 1600s, stated "No man's knowledge here can go beyond his experience." Because of this I peruse knowledge by reading and experiencing it firsthand. That is why I always try my best to read and research on everything and anything. Throughout my researches I found my passion. As I was reading an article about how Steve Jobs founded the apple company I found out how much I enjoined computers and programing. Because of my open minded personality I decided to build a computer. Now I know four different computing languages although I'm still learning to program and I assemble and disassemble a computer with ease. I wish to further my experience with computers and other complex matters so that I truly have knowledge.

It can be said that I'm simply have a thirst for knowledge and the understanding of mathematical equations, and it is that thirst that has brought me to the door steps of International Baccalaureate program. So when It is all said and done the IB program is another stepping step stone in my quest for knowledge.

A bit extra

For the next point please note that I am an IGSCE student and might make a mistake so please get the next comment checked before applying.


A bit too show-off