The opening line is awesome. It made me make a second look at what you were talking about and really drew me in.
At Brown, the open curriculum presents a unique fusion of freedom and responsibility. In this independent academic environment, the courses I choose to take will be a direct reflection of my passions . Without the restraints of a fixed curriculum, I will be guided by my inquisitive spirit and self-driven desire to grow.
Perhaps in this area you can considering mentioning one of those passions.
An integral part of my interest in history is my goal of contributing to historical knowledge. I hope to work with a professor like Professor Pollack, whose work on Soviet Cold War history resonates with my cultural background. After my summer experience at Brown analyzing sources like Roger Williams's journal and Visscher's maps, I will look to further explore the unique assortment of manuscripts at the John Carter Brown Library in hopes that I will create my own meaningful research.
An integral part of my interest in history is my goal of contributing to historical knowledge. I hope to work with a professor like Professor Pollack, whose work on Soviet Cold War history resonates with my cultural background.
Remove this and reword that initial sentence.