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Ť Grains de philo ť Writing supplements dilmma! ; "Why Yale"


loumap 2 / 5 1  
Dec 28, 2013   #1
Hello, I am aplying to 20 universities and I had problems that caused me to wait until today to do the writing supplements. The thing is, I am very hesitating about copying the same response for the same question for different universities, just changing the names etc.

There is my "Why Yale" question ? Should I do the same for all the other ones ? I would really use some advice and correction ! I also might add it as an answer to what motivated you to apply ?

Since I have known about Yale thru my science teacher in 8th grade, who referred to it as a place that could potentially solves the world's problems, I knew that Yale is where I belong. Few people understood my stubborn answer to 'What do you want to do in life' that permanently resulted in these four letters; the luckiest were getting "School of Forestry & Environmental Studies". But I knew what I was aiming for: whether it is for its amazingly rich, diverse and open-minded student body, or its bright, praiseworthy and dedicated scholars, Yale is unquestionably where I would achieve more.

And there is the 'talk about one of your ECs question"

« Grains de philo » (seeds of philosophy) is probably the most pleasant activity of my week. It is a club where we gather to « produce ideas », and sharing them creates a infinite and plentiful mine of thoughts. The main theme is the body, and I chose to work on dance: what is a dancing body compared to a non dancing body? What does dancing involves on a spiritual, social and personal level? Watching Sakharova's and Pina Baucsh's performances with the teacher and discussing them is such a fun an enriching moment that it definitely makes this philosophy club a brain-teasing yet delightful moment.

(I might eventually add a little conclusion for the universities that ask how did it affect our personality )
quanny 9 / 36 2  
Dec 28, 2013   #2
your why yale is not very specific, what u listed here is very general, and in fact, i think most schools can offer. maybe u can think about why yale is unique to you?
OP loumap 2 / 5 1  
Dec 28, 2013   #3
Thank you for your help. What do you people think about my second essay ?
iacero 3 / 17 2  
Dec 28, 2013   #4
Hi- Try not to use the same response- the main issue tends to be that you might not paste the correct name and you'll probably get an automatic rejection

Plus you have to write about specific things you like about the school.

I think the second one is OK, you should add a bit more detail to make it meatier.
Also don't say probably-be confident in the answer
or say that it is one of the best part/activity of my week.

For the first I agree with quanny. Say something specifically about Yale's program for environmental studies or some clubs/activities you'd like to join. Also ther is some grammar and phrasing problems.

Since I have knownI learned about Yale thru my science teacher in 8th grade, who referred to it as a place that could potentially solves the world's problems, I knew that Yale is where I belong. Few people understood my stubborn answer to 'What do you want to do in life' that permanently resulted in these four letters i think that this sentence is a bit awkward. Make it clearer that Yale was the answer---How was Yale the aswer? ; the luckiest were getting "School of Forestry & Environmental Studies"? This sentence is confusing to me . But I knew what I was aiming for: whether it is for its amazingly rich, diverse and open-minded student body, or its bright, praiseworthy and dedicated scholars, Yale is unquestionably where I would achieve more.


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