Will someone critique my essay and tell me what I should improve on? I am open to any suggestions. I also feel as if I should make this into more of a story but I am not so sure. Any help is greatly appreciated.
Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.
One of the most powerful things that my Grandma Janet has told me is that "when it all comes down to it, the things that money can buy do not last; but the love in your heart is what will stay with you throughout all eternity." This mindset, her actions, and her presence in my life are what have helped me through some rough times and made me a better person.
My Grandma Janet is the type of person who will selflessly do everything in her power to take care of those she loves and make them happy. The amount of self-sacrifice, compassion, humility, patience, and life she possesses, despite her own shortcomings, has always amazed and inspired me. She goes above and beyond the typical role of a grandmother and does more than required in order to make a difference in people's lives.
Even after my mom divorced my grandma's son when I was three, my grandma chose to stand by my mom's and my side. My grandma has worked nights from 10 PM to 5 AM as a waitress for the past 16 years in order to be free during the day to take care of me while my mom was at work. During the day, she's picked me up from school, taken me home, cooked, cleaned, and has basically been my second mother. In this time, we've built up this connection that can never be broken. She's taught me countless invaluable lessons and has opened my mind to practically everything imaginable. Our conversations vary from how my day at school was, to how her night at work was, to TV shows or movies that we've watched together, to discussions about people, philosophy, politics, spirituality, psychic phenomena, and so on and so forth -- there is never a dull moment with her.
However, the fact of the matter is that we are different in certain aspects. For instance, I am artistic, while she is not. Nevertheless, she's always wanted to make people happy and so have I. I have applied her motivation of making the world a better place through meticulous care, compassion, and laughter to my own life, work, and future. My dream of producing forms of entertainment such as animation, video games, and other works of art goes hand in hand with my desire to help others. She has taught me how to live my life and has shown me how important love can be. I plan to use my art as a medium to spread the lessons that she taught me to others because I hope to make as big of an impact on the life of someone else as she has made on my own.
451/500 words
It's a nice essay, but may come of as a bit of an cliche. Maybe try to write about a particular situation or anectode with your grandmother in which all her qualities that you desribed, come to life.
