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The Grandma Effect, My potential essay for college applications


root 3 / 6  
Sep 12, 2012   #1
Hi! This is a college essay I've been trying to write to use on my common application. I know it's very rough and it might not say enough about me as a person. Please read it and edit it and tell me how to make it better and overal what you think! Thanks :)

What I want to achieve in life is greatness and importance to the world I live in. This is what my grandmother achieved. I want to choose happiness in every situation, to create beauty and share it with the world. Grandma was so different then me, but we shared so much. She was strong as am I, she was brilliant, as I strive to be, and she spiritual yet worldly. There were sophistications about her that I believe to be some of the greatest qualities a woman can possess.

My grandma was my conscience. If she didn't think something was right, it wasn't. When Grandma passed away, she left her wisdom with family. Most every significant decision I make is based off of the morals she has taught me..

Grandma never had the opportunity to attend college. In spite of this, she was the smartest person I knew. Her strategic mindset and her determination have been instilled in me. She dominated Scrabble games, was usually victorious in Words With Friends and was an avid reader. However, she was not limited to her linguistics. When I struggled with a math concept, Grandma provided me clarity. She always connected what I learned in school to the real world. In fact, she was the one who finally helped me understand fractions while at our favorite restaurant

Grandma was special in that she always wanted to make everyone happy. She was selfless and always put her family, especially her grandchildren, ahead of herself. Her vanity was an exception to that rule. One morning during my sophomore year, I was extremely nauseous. When I called Grandma to pick me up from school, she told me I'd have to wait. She hadn't put on her makeup yet.

She really believed in me. Not in the sappy way that grandmother's do. She believed in me in the realistic sense. Grandma believed that I was truly capable of what I want to achieve in life. There were times when she told me what I was saying was impractical and foolish; I was grateful for that. Grandma was commonsensical and she instilled pragmatism in me. Grandma taught me that all of this is possible if I set my mind to it. When a person believes in someone else, the strength that person feels is boundless.

Despite her illness, I can still recall the enthusiasm Grandma put into our phone calls we had while she was in the hospital. I remember the last dinner we shared together, at that awful Mediterranean restaurant.

Grandma is still my conscience. She is my checkpoint in every aspect of my life when I am in need. Her morals are still valid, age is no exception to her rules.
whfb231 1 / 1  
Sep 12, 2012   #2
What I want to achieve in life is greatness and importance to the world I live in. This is what my grandmother achieved. I want to choose happiness in every situation, to create beauty and share it with the world. Grandma was so different than me, but we shared so much. She was strong as am I. She was brilliant, as I strive to be, and she was spiritual yet worldly. There were sophistications about her that I believe to be some of the greatest qualities a woman can possess.

My grandma was my conscience. If she didn't think something was right, it wasn't. When Grandma passed away, she left her wisdom with family. Most every significant decision I make is based off of the morals she has taught me..

Grandma never had the opportunity to attend college. In spite of this, she was the smartest person I knew. Her strategic mindset and her determination have been instilled in me. She dominated Scrabble games and Words With Friends. Despite her prowess, she was not limited to her linguistics. When I struggled with a math concept, Grandma provided me clarity. She always connected what I learned in school to the real world. In fact, she was the one who finally helped me understand fractions while at our favorite restaurant.

Grandma was special in that she always wanted to make everyone happy. She was selfless and always put her family, especially her grandchildren, ahead of herself. Her vanity was an exception to that rule. One morning during my sophomore year, I was extremely nauseous. When I called Grandma to pick me up from school, she told me I'd have to wait. She hadn't put on her makeup yet.

She really believed in me. Not in the sappy way that grandmother's do. She believed in me in the realistic sense. Grandma believed that I was truly capable of what I want to achieve in life. There were times when she told me what I was saying was impractical and foolish; I was grateful for that. Grandma was commonsensical and she instilled pragmatism in me. Grandma taught me that all of this is possible if I set my mind to it. When a person believes in someone else, the strength that person feels is boundless.

Despite her illness, I can still recall the enthusiasm Grandma put into our phone calls we had while she was in the hospital. I remember the last dinner we shared together, at that awful Mediterranean restaurant. <-- Elaborate on why this is significant.

Grandma is still my conscience. She is my checkpoint in every aspect of my life when I am in need. Her morals are still valid, age is no exception to her rules.

I really love your essay! I really got to know about your grandmother. But, like you said, it doesn't tell much about YOU, and how all of these significant aspects of your grandmother were important to you. I think if you define and elaborate on those, your essay will turn out magnificent!

Thanks for looking at my essay by the way! Hope I helped!
yindra 2 / 2  
Sep 12, 2012   #3
The title of the essay itself drawn me to this thread. You essay is wonderful and personal though I must agree that this essay is more focused on how wonderful your Grandma is instead of you. My thought is include a paragraph about a personal experience you share with her, maybe as an opener that eventually leads on and shows why she is your inspiration. Sorry if I can't provide much grammar or vocab check, unforunately English is my second language.
malv1009 1 / 4  
Sep 13, 2012   #4
I was also drawn in by the name of your essay. My immediate thoughts were "Oh great, someone wrote a defense/satire of the cliche 'Grandma' college application essay." I was a little let down. I agree with yindra in that I think your essay needs some more of you in it, but I might suggest picking a new topic all together. The Grandma essay is notoriously typical.
Isi 1 / 3  
Sep 15, 2012   #5
Your essay is lovely remind me of my grandma who is not lenient but tries 2 ensure we all go to school. My observaton is that you let the readers wonder alot by not be detailed in your explanation. When you state a point you should explain further your reason for it.


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